I have never slept with someone and am scared to because…

16 comments

1. Have you ever been evaluated for constipation issues? Issues with peeing can sometimes be caused by severe constipation and/or bowel motility issues.

2. Has the urologist giving any reason for why you haven’t been able to solve the issue yet?

   So doing something like no drinking 4 hours before sleep and peeing just before bed doesn’t solve it?

3. If it happens when you’re sleeping with someone, just say you squirted?

4. What about adult diapers underneath your pj’s? I think they’re pretty thin/discreet.

5. doesn’t it help if you go pee right before sleeping?

6. I do every night

7. When you find someone you want to have sex with, just let them know that you have a sleeping disorder and won’t be able to stay at their place. If they ask about it, tell them you use a CPAP and it’s noisy/uncomfortable and that you just need to sleep in your own bed alone.

8. Did the urologist suggest doing Kegels? Google it if they didn’t. It works on both men and women.

   It could also be anxiety, consuming too much sugar, not getting enough salt, the room being too cold, etc. Exercise could help with some of these issues.

9. Set an alarm, stumble to the bathroom every 2-3 hours?

10. Honestly I’d just be upfront with them and tell them it’s a medical condition that you have no control over and it’s a possibility of it happening. Either they’ll understand or they won’t. If they do, just take the measures of putting towels down and between you and them before going to sleep and hope it doesn’t get on them lol. Honesty is always the best. Keeps them from wondering why you’re being weird/what you’re hiding.

11. Is the root cause possibly trauma? If it’s unresolved emotional or physical trauma then maybe try taking the route of a good therapist. It may not be a physical issue.

12. What would you guys do if a person you’ve been seeing came out with this?

13. don’t have to answer this if you’re uncomfortable telling a stranger, but is this linked to anything traumatic from your childhood? Like did you for example get in trouble for peeing the bed when you were little or have something/anything traumatic happen related to peeing the bed or even peeing in general?

14. So my brother suffers with enuresis and like you he was mad embarrassed. He was always taunted for his condition by friends and people he didn’t care for. Eventually he met someone and he was very open about his condition and refused to sleep in the same bed. He was dry for weeks and the one time they fell asleep he wet himself and he was mortified and pulled back but she re-assured him that it was okay and they’ve now been together for 7 years. Some people don’t care. Especially when you live that person.

15. Check in for a sleep study after consulting a sleep specialist and see if you have sleep apnea. Can be treated if this is the case. All the best.

16. I used to date a girl that had this problem. The first time we had sex this actually happened immediately afterwards (a few minutes after her orgasm). She explained it to me and for me it was not a big issue. She had a very sensitive bladder that caused her to get frequent and very difficult bladder infections.

    Rather than making it an issue to worry about, we simply incorporated it into our love life. her wetting the bed was simply something we didn’t worry about, we just focused on other things and had a wonderful sexual relationship for close to a year. Instead of making pee a “dirty and bad” thing, we also included “watersports” (peeing during sex) as part of what we did with each other. This way I got used to feeling her warm pee on my body as we slept and embraced. It also turned out that she truly enjoyed if I peed on her during sex – that warmth of the pee turned her massively on.

    In other words, we turned what she feared into something enjoyable that no longer affected her self esteem.