Dating apps don’t work for everyone and especially not for me. They’ve worked extremely well for many people, including my close friends though. I used to think there was something wrong with my profile because I wasn’t getting any matches. I later realised there wasn’t.
I’m a shy guy, so I don’t really approach women irl but when I’m around women who are friends of friends, new coworkers etc etc I don’t have any problems flirting, getting to know women or and giggty giggty.
It’s just that I struggle with the initial approach which I thought dating apps would help with because I didn’t have to approach women irl, get rejected or realise mid convo that I’ve made a mistake showing interest in them because you don’t really vibe with them etc etc.
The reasons why I think dating apps don’t work for everyone is because there’s just too many options. People become way too picky when choosing who they match with, trying to find a unicorn. I’m guilty of this too. This isn’t about having standards. Everyone should have standards, I do and I hope everyone else does too.
Someone who would get along well with you irl, would probably swipe left on your profile. It’s really hard to get a sense of your personality, charm, charisma, humour, dress sense and looks (if you aren’t photogenic) off a couple of photos and a bio.
The other side of this is that in there being too many options, someone like me couldn’t possibly find the motivation to filter through all the options, to swipe right and left on countless profiles. It feels like work and it’s especially demotivating when you know you don’t get many matches anyway. So it’s like, why bother?
It’s also possible that the type of people you’re into, may not really be on dating apps. You’re more likely to find someone who’s into art at a museum and someone into partying at a club. So, it could just be the type of men or women you’re into just aren’t on these platforms.
It’s tough when you’re seeing everyone around you getting laid left and right, off of dating apps but I’m just here to say what works for others may not work for you.
The point of the post is that you’re not the problem. You’re not unlovable or unfuckable. Finding partners on dating apps may not work for you, so it’s time to try something new instead of trying the same thing, different results, insanity and all that.
2 comments
But the single woman (or man) you meet in real life is probably on a dating app too though. People online are people offline and vice versa. Even *if* they aren’t on dating apps, they still are probably on other social media platforms such as Instagram and have a dozen of dm’s lined up from interested men and thus all people who have options on dating apps have options elsewhere too
Remember years back on bumble a girl put her IG so I slid into her DM’s since I wasn’t getting matched much. She ended up giving me her number and it ultimately didn’t work out but we did go on a few dates. But I remember her admitting that had she just come across me on the app she would not have swiped right on me.
These swipe apps are not helping anyone. They are def not helping men and it doesn’t sound like they’re helping women either. Some company needs to develop something different because these apps that are so shallow are the worst. It’s no way to try and get to know someone.