I seriously need to see how other start conversation, because my current go-to is to completely avoid people and mostly speak when spoken to. I don’t smile at them and I don’t say hi – even acquaintances. Sometimes, when I’ve managed to reduce my anxiety a bit, I’ll ask someone in a lecture a question or make a comment, but I won’t be able to continue the conversation because I just don’t know what to say.
And obviously this makes it downright impossible to connect with anyone. Not only have I not made any friends in roughly four years, but I barely even speak to people.
2 comments
It can be really hard to talk to people and make new friends and I’m no expert I only have 2 friends I talk to regularly and it’s mostly over texts. Remember that friendships aren’t made in one day or even a week, it definitely takes time but what I try to do is find a common interest with them and talk about that.
An example might be “hey have you seen that new Netflix show that came out?” Of course what you say depends on the context of the situation and where you are.
If you want to get more comfortable with talking to people raw experience is the best way in my opinion, when you’re at the cashier greet them and ask them how’s their day. Also I recommend taking walks in the morning if you can so you can meet other walkers/joggers and tell them good morning small interactions like these are key here. Make this a habit until you start feeling more comfortable saying those things and then you can move on to more complex conversations
That’s what’s always bothered me about suggestions of making friends as an adult.
‘Oh just join a club!’
Ok, I’ve joined the club, I do the thing, I go home.
I’m far too socially anxious to walk up to anybody, and even attempt to talk to them about the club/activity.