So I just started working in a company a few days ago and met this guy who literally mentioned on our first break after meeting him that his dad just died and how he’s considered the man of the house now and that it’s his responsibility now to set good manners for his siblings and take care of them financially (I don’t he’s able to do that with our current salary but they’re filthy rich so he doesn’t need to).
The next day he invited me to his car and talked a little then he proceeded to tell me about his darkest deepest shit like how he used to be a drug addict (meth, cocaine, pills… Etc) and how he used to beat his parents and that he feels guilty now.
Idk man… Idk how I’m supposed to feel about this cause like I understand that some people could pour their heart out to people who they 100% know they’ll not meet again but this is different… Like he’s gonna see me everyday and he has a one year contract same as I.
Is this normal guys? How do I like deal with this? Cause this is new to me.
EDIT: Spelling
5 comments
He’s probably just some one that’s mb a little too open and trusting. If it makes you uncomfortable just ask him to focus on work more. If you don’t mind the conversation then continue with caution. He may get super attached.
No, it’s not normal. He wants someone’s pity so badly or vent or who knows. Agreed to the previous comment, be careful because he can get attached to you in no time.
Also mentioning he’s violent is awful… He needs therapy not using strangers for that purpose.
He needs therapy. Trauma dumping is not healthy.
If he does that again and you feel uncomfortable just say “Sorry, I don’t think I am the right person to share that with” or “I don’t think I want to get into that right now”. It’s not offensive and it’s easy to redirect the conversation from there.
What he did, it’s called trauma dump and most likely comes from a place of need.
For those who are in the coworker shoes, it never hurts to start with “are you ok to hear this right now?” before sharing something that carries high emotional load, especially when you don’t know the person.
It’s not normal or healthy but it’s understandable. Sometimes you try to turn the faucet just a little but it breaks and now there’s a flood.
It would be more understandable if you were out drinking or you had said something that would trigger this. Out of nowhere it’s weird though.
Ultimately, it’s not your burden to bear. You can help if you want but nobody has the right to force you to