My husband is more of a logistical thinker and more practical and individualistic. I am an optimist, I am very sensitive and empathetic. Sometimes our different ways of thinking put a wedge between us, at least from my side.
Currently, in my parent’s native country Iran, there is a humanitarian crisis going on. The government is committing genocide against its own people. Me, my family (parents and relatives), friends, and the Iranian community are of course affected by this, and many people are holding rallies and protests all over the world, and posting all over social media
My husband does not understand how I feel. He said it is natural to feel concerned, but as long as your family is safe over there, you cannot do anything except pray. I hear horrible stories going on in my parent’s country so of course it upsets me at times and sometimes I cry. What am I supposed to do, act like I don’t care?
I bought wristbands to donate to an organization and he asked me “Why am I getting so involved?” He said he does not want me to go out and protest or anything (which I have not even had time to because of work and family.) That the people who protested for Donald Trump ended up storming the Capitol and he doesn’t want me to end up like them. He said if there was a humanitarian crisis going on in his country, he would be concerned, but not be so involved.
It is really difficult when your husband does not understand where you are coming from and how you feel. Since last night, I have been acting distant from him.
7 comments
It sounds like you both just need to sit down and talk about your concerns but more importantly listen to each others point of view. For instance, what is happening in Iran is absolutely blood boiling and of course you are going to support the movement however you can. However, you need to communicate why it is important you help and that it is where you are from, your culture, how your countries well being is. He needs to listen and acknowledge this and understand why you are doing what you are doing.
If he doesn’t understand then it’s hard to be upset at him
Yeah there is a difference between not supporting and then kind of pulling you back… like what is he really afraid of will happen if you do stand up for your people and culture back home? Yeah you are safe but your memories and those people who made up of them are not and its scary to think to loose a part of who you are and were.
I guess he is not connected to much in his life so when you aren’t connected to much you don’t hurt as much.
I am dumbfounded that anyone would equate protesting this crisis with storming the Capitol. I’m finding it hard to empathize with someone who seems far more worried about attracting attention than how this is profoundly impacting you for very obvious reasons.
Girl , I live in iran , I don’t want to scare u , but the situation IS bad
Talk to him , a serious, adult talk , I’m sure it’ll work out
Sounds like you married a American guy. Not sure why you are surprised he doesn’t care about Iran. I don’t either honestly.
What if he completely gets how you are feeling about it all? Then what? Will that fix anything at all in Iran?
What does getting upset and emotional accomplish? Other than just stress you out?
We cannot take on the weight of the world. We can be concerned and advocate but we can’t single handedly change it.
Getting all upset does nothing but compromise your mental health.
You need to turn the news off.
Now that being said I wouldn’t limit my spouse from donating or safe protesting but I personally would take issue with making our lives depressing and anxiety wridden worrying about it.
I think you both need to walk more inward.