Heya! Sorry about the whole ass essay, this is as much of a vent as it is me asking for reassurance/advice 😅
So, go figure, I have social anxiety. I’m fine when things are going good, but if I think I fucked something up I start to spiral; what-ifs, cringing hard at myself, wondering if they’re discussing how weird I am, etc. Of course I know logically they’re probably just going about their lives and I’m not even a blip on their radar anymore (thank god) but my anxiety refuses this reassurance, naturally.
The actual story: I joined a discord group to talk about fandoms and stuff, and yesterday I was invited to play jackbox (an online set of party games) with a discord acquaintance and their friends (who I didn’t know). The games were pretty fun, but I had to keep dipping out because I was at work (it’s a security guard post and it was the other guard’s turn to check in cars, but I had to answer phone calls and cover for him while he went to the bathroom)
Well, I was a little embarrassed about having to keep leaving, but everyone was cool about it (a couple others had to do the same anyway). The main thing I’m cringing at is we were playing a game where you have to tell a truth and a lie about yourself, and then the others have to try and guess the truth. I completely missed the other’s reactions to my truth/lie (I survived being poisoned/I climbed a mountain), but I feel like I overshared with that, as everyone else’s was more lighthearted- those were just the first two that popped into my head, and I didn’t see anyone else’s until the game started properly.
They asked me about it when I got back, and I rambled a bit- I was flustered because I’d been running back and forth for the past few minutes- and said something like “Oh, yeah, sorry about the dramatic story, my grandma’s a nutter haha, oh shoot sorry I gotta go again”. They asked me to elaborate and I told them grandma dearest was a nurse who had access to saline.
Skip to now, and I was thinking about thanking the person who invited me and apologizing for dipping out so much. I don’t think I should bring up the main thing I’m worried about though? Idk lmao, I think I’ll just chuck it into my internal Cringe Library and never bring it up again unless someone else brings it up. What do y’all think?
TL;DR: Got invited to play online party games. We played a game where you share one truth/one lie about yourself and I think I overshared, as everyone else’s was more lighthearted.