Ok so I’m having trouble dealing with my partners body count.
When she left her last marriage she then slept with 8 men in the space of 7 months before meeting me. She was divorced for 14 months total though went on dating apps and slept around for 7 months with 8 different men.
After finding this out I’m now in a very different frame of mind and actually have lost a lot of respect for her. Now I understand it’s ok to have casual sex from time to time but this just eats me up and I really can’t handle it.
Tl;dr Am I being over the top with this ? Or is this a normal response ?
13 comments
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What’s your body count?
Let’s put it in a different perspective.
Hypersexuality is a condition in which a person experiences sexual impulses and urges that are persistent and uncontrollable (frequent hookups, porn addiction, etc.)
They may engage in these activities as a result of boredom, anxiety, depression & loneliness.
From what you’re explaining, maybe your partner was experiencing depression/anxiety after the separation. Divorces are very stressful, and maybe that was her way of coping.
I understand your frustration because sexual discipline is important, but I feel bad for people with this problem because at one point in my life I struggled with this. Sex was my way to cope before going to therapy. Try to be at least a bit sympathetic for her.
You are allowed to have personal opinions and preferences, however in general this is not that crazy of a number especially given the recent divorce and probably her processing the emotional side of it. There’s no ‘normal response’ because it’s person dependent, so if that’s something that bothers you than say so and move on, but understand that it’s YOUR opinion.
Get over it or move on. If one of your friends had a “body count” like that you’d congratulate him I’m guessing. As long as it was consensual and she is faithful to you while together then what does it matter how many ppl she slept with before you. If you’re worried about std’s then you BOTH should go get checked . Other than that it’s on you my friend. No big deal if it’s a deal breaker for you just don’t make her feel guilty for her actions because they go against your ideals
I think it’s pretty common to have a promiscuous period after ending a marriage/LTR. Sometimes you feel like you’ve been held back/stifled for many years and you just let loose and get a bit wild for a period of time.
She’s still the same person she was before you knew this information.
I also find it interesting that you’re defensive in the comments about your own numbers, and are maybe being a bit too judgemental and hypocritical?
Honestly you should probably break up because if you care about something this juvenile in your late 30s I feel sorry for your partner
Its embarrassing that you’re this old and acting this way
She had just gotten divorced. Was probably going through a lot and hadn’t been with any other men for a long time. Sounds like she wanted to explore a little after being off the market. Why not just talk to her more about how she was feeling after her divorce? (Oh wait, this is Reddit. No one here actually communicates with their partner)
8 people in 7 months, good for her! I hope she had fun 🥳
I’ll never understand how distressed some people are over something that has absolutely nothing to do with them.
Just leave her. It’s really not that hard.
You are absolutely entitled to your boundaries and desires in a partner, as long as you don’t shame them. I know it is popular to say men are not allowed these things, but you are.
The other side is your preferences come with consequences.
Women can sleep with However many people they want to. And should not be shamed for it. But there are consequences for that too.
For some reason it has become popular to shame men for having standards. As long as you do not shame, have what ever standards you want. Just live with the consequences.