Looking for solutions and guidance for improving my social skills and mindset towards socializing
I’m 20 years old and would love to connect with people and experience new things. How ever I have a destructive social anxiety and find it extremely hard to meaningfully connect. I was very distant in highschool and ever since graduating I have become a hermit so naturally my already sub par social skills have taken a turn for the worse.
Currently have recognized that something needs to change. I have been going to the gym for a few months consistently and confidence about my appearance has drastically improved. But the social aspect of things and gaining confidence has been more than tricky. I have been reading self help books on confidence and communication such as
– how to win friends and influence people
– how to talk to anyone and;
– the subtle art of not giving a f—
And they make sense, but the only problem on my end is where to meet people and how to meet people, what does an engaging and meaningful conversation with someone new look like. This is something I could really use your help with. I look forward to hearing from you.
1 comment
The only advice I can give is the same dating advice I say to my nephews….
Exposure therapy. You have to go out there and ‘just do it’ as Nike would say.
go out and do social things that you enjoy to do and meet people who are also doing those things.
An activity, a shared interest, something to talk about. Something to build a friendship around.
This means self exploratory moves to figure out what your interests are if you’re not sure. And if you’ve been at home for a long time, you might not be sure what ‘outside’ social activities you might like. It takes time, and you have to experiment.
For me, it was golf, riding my mountain bike, and tabletop gaming. For my brother, it was martial arts school, and going to comedy clubs. Met my girlfriend volunteering to clean cages at a cat rescue… Everyone is different but you got to get out there and put yourself out there. It sucks at first, but I promise the anxiety will fade away the more you do it.
As for the conversation piece, I have no idea. Still struggling with that part myself… 😂