As I’m (M22) writing this on the way to meet someone (F22) who I had spent an amazing night with about an year ago, I’m having this sudden uneasiness and restlessness in my heart and mind, thinking that this will also end up not working out.
About an year ago, I hooked up with a girl (she had approached me). We had a great night together, we bonded, talked, shared stories and traumas, and ended this on a good note.
The following days and months she texted me about how bad she feels that I’m going away (leaving her city to go back home), how she wishes I could have stayed a bit longer, how she wants me to come back soon, how she wants to do all the things that we never were able to do, how she wants to date me and how it was the most incredible night of her life, especially when it comes to meeting such a gentleman who respects her, is so deep, thoughtful, mature, has a good sense of humor, talented and emotionally available. Initially I was a bit hesitant regarding her thoughts about me, and I did find it a bit annoying earlier, but with a few months, even I started looking forward to seeing her again. We used to chat sometimes, send each other songs, pictures, etc. She has been all ears to me, kind, and supportive.
But, as she’s someone very attractive and extroverted, it’s quite evident that she has a lot of options around her. Despite the fact that she’s been sticking around for almost a year, but people can change instantly (according to my past experiences). Also, whenever I open her stories, I always see her hanging around with a guy who I think is attracted to her and it’s mutual as well. I have told her regarding my visit to her city a week ago, but you know it this deeply rooted insecurity and trauma that is eating my head.
I like her, she likes me, yet I believe she can switch up within a week and I’ll be left shattered (again).
Please help me sleep better.
P.S. I’m aware about the fact that this has everything to do with my insecurity, my bad experiences, which have led me to overthink and have major trust issues, but I have been played badly by women and if this ends up the same, I don’t know how to keep myself sane anymore.
1 comment
The dating field for men is full of stories like yours, especially for the good men out there. I’d like you to feel those insecurities fully, and just sit with them for a moment. Now, I want you to realize that those insecurities are not you. Your thoughts are also not you. Although she has a lot of options, realize that you do too. YOU attracted her, and YOU are the one she wishes would have stayed a bit longer and wants to date. What are the positive possibilities that can arise from this meeting? Think about that, and focus on that. Does this help to settle your mind at all, or does something else pop up?