I’m eighteen and I’ve never had friends, I was diagnosed with ASD as a child and my social skills are very poor.
I don’t know how I’m meant to make friends, when I’ve never had a friendship before and I struggle to even hold a short conversation with a store employee. I don’t think anyone’s going to want to be my friend, when they find out that they’ll be my only friend. They’ll probably just assume that I’ll become dependent on them or they’ll think that there’s something wrong with me. Which is true I guess, but opening up about that would only make it worse.
I’ve been depressed for awhile too, so now I’m so boring. I used to have hobbies and interests in life, but now I don’t even know who I am. If I don’t even want to be around myself, then I think that’s a pretty good indicator of how others view me.
I also don’t have social media’s, unfortunately that’s considered quite weird now. I understand that people would rather be friends with someone that they can keep in contact with through social media, but I have no reason to have one and making a fake one would be incredibly embarrassing. I can’t think of a single person who would follow me, so again I’d end up looking really weird to most people.
I’m boring, awkward and friendless, people are going to avoid me. The worst part is that I can’t think of a single person I know, no matter how insufferable, that is also this alone. I feel like I’m never going to make friends. This might be stupid in some people’s opinions but I can’t imagine my life being meaningful if I’ll be completely alone. I don’t get on with my family in the slightest either. I feel so depressed, so maybe I’m just being negative. I don’t really know anymore.
3 comments
I was diagnosed when I was young with ASD, and it’s rough. The worst part for me was how different family and others treated me when they found out I was ‘different’.
It sounds like it’s been rough for you too. Life in general at least. The way you talk about yourself and how you use to have hobbies but don’t anymore and how you can’t see like being meaningful is very clear signs of depression, which you’ve already mentioned. The reason why I highlight this is because that depression is something that is very hard to just think yourself out alone. So I’d encourage you to seek professional help because depression is a fucking bitch and can make small problems feel large and large problems feel hopeless. It’s definitely playing this game on hard mode.
Friendship is weird. It’s hard to define who is your friend and who are just people who are friendly. I think you’re very self-aware. You seem savvy to the fact that if you try and make ‘a friend’ (whatever that means) you can come off very strong. Instead, the answer here is to work on you a bit. Take care of your basics, shower, clean up and maybe do some exercise. Just focus on those little steps and if it’s all you can seem to manage in a day that’s okay. and if you mess up, that’s okay too. The important thing is to not give up. If we make it through the day after this is done and you feel like you can do more, the next step is to find some sort of club or activity you enjoy. Something with people. You may feel like you don’t have friends, so we’ll settle for friendly people for now. Clubs often have friendly people who enjoy making new members feel welcome. Take that hospitality with open arms and return each friendly gesture you receive for one of your own. The goal here isn’t friends, it’s just making friendly people know that their efforts are appreciated. If there are no friendly people in a club, find another. If you do this, if you keep interacting with people I promise some will eventually stop being friendly and start being friends. But it’s a process that happens best when it isn’t watched, so just focus on yourself.
18 is a funky age as you’re transitioning into adulthood. You probably feel much different than how you were 5 years ago, and the same will be true in the next five years. I don’t know you and I don’t know your life, but I know many many many people feel like you do right now and I promise life isn’t done with you just yet. There’s so much more to life that you can’t see just yet. That voice that tells you it’s meaningless and all shit isn’t some objective voice of logic and reason, they’re just a little bitch. We often need to fight to be happy, even if we don’t always win, always give them hell.
Stay strong.
Hi! I was very lonely and awkward in elementary school. But now, I’m still awkward and lonely 🙂
What do you do in free time? What you consider fun? Do it.
I’m emotionally weak, socially awkward and i survive everyday by discovering fun thing. Life is like a game where I explore every DLC out there. And it’s prettu fun.
Left social thingies aside. Have fun with your life first, then friends just come with it.
Hey, you like any sports? Running is good – for mental health, just getting out of the house and there are loads of running groups around.
What do you like to do?