Just got hit like a freight train today with the biggest disappointment of my life by far. It wasn’t related to love, in fact I would rather be broken up with 100 times than experience this. I feel pathetic for hiding away in my room alone on a Friday night grieving for what could’ve been. It really feels like im mourning the death of my dream as if it were a living person. I know life is a long road with hills and valleys, but this valley has taken away my spirit and I need solid advice on how to pick myself up, any advice is appreciated.
12 comments
Everyone’s lifs burns down at least 3 times.
Kinda hard without context. Like WHY is it the death of a dream? Unless you failed to get into medical school or drafted by a pro sports team, few things are really the death of a dream.
Agree context is important, but a short answer is time. Even death of someone you love will be overcome with time, even if you don’t think so now. Yes, even if you feel you deserve these feelings, they will fade with time.
There are things you can do to shorten this time though.
Therapy
Exercise
Meditation
Journaling
Being out in nature
Forming new goals and priorities.
Better diet/avoiding alcohol and recreational drugs
Good luck mt friend!
You just keep going. Kenesis.
Eyes forward.
As my dad used to say ” Cowboy Up!”. Sounds cliche, but at some point every man comes to the realization that life isn’t perfect, we aren’t perfect, shit happens so toughen up and move forward.
Focus not on our short comings which all men have some, focus on things we should be grateful for which all men have many. Perspective is key.
Let me just say i personally like to step back and reflect on other peoples stories to gain perspective on my own life. Im sorry you are going through this pain. Im the king of missed opportunities so i understand how frustrating it can be to want to strangle the fates for playing the games they play. But let me tell you a story that always centers me. It was a story I heard about 20 years ago as a cab driver, it was on an NPR weekend show, it was about a little girl who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness and had passed away and the story was being told by her mother who relayed an incredibly heartbreaking conversation she had to have with her daughter when she was diagnosed. The girl asks, Mommy will i get to be married? Mom says, no. The girl asks, will i get to go to prom? The mom says, no. The girl asks, will I get to be seven? Mom says sobbing, no. And the little girl said, Then I know how I want to die. I want you to read my favorite book to me while i fall asleep. Later when her condition deteriorated and the mother could see that it was time, that was exactly what happened. She fell asleep in her mothers arms as she was reading the book. Just remember, that passion you have, that love for something, will always be a part of you, and time is just a passing thing that makes this earth seem more important than it really is.
Whenever life hit the fan, thats when I had the most energy to go extra hard at the gym.
Feelings are energy, and energy cannot be demolished only converted into something else. That grieve and anger you have wont go away until you put that energy into somewhere else.
What is older men to you? Also regarding that as long as you maintain your health you can fight another day …..its just the battle not the war.
Working on it right now… the key is to stop dwelling on what could have been. Keep going. Another opportunity will come and you will know to take it. And remember “just because things could have been different, does not mean they would have been better”. And, everybody misses opportunities and deals with disappointment. No one ever in the history of everything has taken every opportunity and never been disappointed.
I just stopped expecting to ever be happy again and plan to die miserable and sad one day.
Mourn it. Thoroughly. Sometimes the plans one has just fail. And I’m not just being feel-good when I say that these are opportunities. I suspect we’ve all heard tropes along the lines of the difficult times are when a person grows the most, but in my experience, and I’m 65, this is as true as you make it true.
The tendency to look back, and see how we could recover some or all of a past goal, is not where you’ll find your win. Unless you are truly oppressed, the closure of whatever that path was *does* mean you can find another path. It probably isn’t anything you can see right now, but try to take the perspective that, although definitely scary, this is going to propel you into something that perhaps you have been interested in, but we’re too comfortable where you were, or it was a little scary to embark on.
I really hope that you will take the time, mourn as deeply as it takes to feel like you can look forward, because once you do, I think you’re going to find some new positivity about life.
“ just keep swimming 🎶”