We were out on dinner and I was teasing her about her weight, she is usually pretty good at teasing me back but I could tell she wasn’t in the mood for it so I stopped.
It’s an in joke we have because both me and her have a hard time keeping the weight off so we have a couples gym
membership and workout together, it’s never bothered her before.
Apparently her boss is giving her a hard time at work. On the way back she said she didn’t appreciate being teased over dinner, I should know she’s having a hard time at work so I should have been more sensitive. I agreed with her and apologised then gave her a big hug and kiss while saying that I’m sorry again.
We then had wine and went to bed, I got tipsy, she can handle a drink better than me so she was more sober. While she was giving me oral I made a joke about how she shouldn’t swallow because it’s extra calories, that made her so mad she pulled down on my tight foreskin hard which she knows is so painful for me (I have phimosis) I think she almost tore it because it felt like she did.
I know I was an ass for making that joke, I really shouldn’t have said that especially as she wasn’t in the mood but pulling on my foreskin was so awfully painful I literally screamed. Is our relationship even salvageable at this point anymore?
21 comments
You need to get away from her ASAP. That’s outright abuse. It is not okay, it is not acceptable, and you shouldn’t tolerate it.
You both hurt each other there, you did it verbally and she physically. You are both in the wrong here. But I would say that you’re slightly more to blame as you know she wasn’t up for it and apologised beforehand yet do the same thing again that night. Not sure what you can do at this point to salvage it.
So you made a fat joke, she told you she was angry and upset about it, you apologised … and then did it again?
And this is your side of the story? Ooof. Seriously clean up your act.
And then yes someone who would physically hurt you in anger is abusive and no one deserves that.
So yes I’d suggest breaking it off. Neither of you are really very good at this. Be alone for a while and get some therapy.
lt says a lot about someone’s character if they’re quick to resort to hurting someone. But it also says a lot about you if you knew she wasn’t feeling well and still kept making jokes about her weight. Being tipsy isn’t an excuse, it’s like you were deliberately trying to hurt her. Both of you are at fault. Honestly a nightmare pairing if you ask me
Yes, she shouldn’t have done that…but to be fair, you fat shamed her again after apologizing for it earlier, and worse, she had your dick in her mouth when you said it. That was extremely stupid AND insensitive on your part. You both are in the wrong here.
Why are you consistently making weight/health jokes? Twice in one day makes me wonder how often you do it any other day…also nothing about those jokes are funny.
Honestly you both sound terrible. You’re teasing her about something that is no doubt an inscurity of hers, not to mention it’s really tactless to joke about someone’s weight. Then she asks you to stop because you’re hurting her and you just do it again? During sex nonetheless? What’s wrong with you? And she is no better by lashing out physically. You both need to seriously work on yourselves before being in a relationship.
Yeah, you shouldn’t have said that, but that was an incredible overreaction on her part. There really is no good excuse for that behavior. There were a million better ways she could’ve voiced her frustration. That’s a huge red flag 🚩
I can’t think of any situation where making fun of someone’s weight is ok. Even if that person is laughing, they’re probably really hurt. *Especially* if they struggle with their weight. And to do it when she’s eating? It’s like you want her to get an eating disorder.
You sound verbally abusive to each other, and from your account you initiate it. It isn’t ok to resort to violence, no, but maybe you should read up on reactive abuse before you blame her for your relationship falling apart.
You didn’t deserve to be physically hurt. Honestly, you both need to re think your relationship if you are so quick to hurt her with her insecurities while she is doing a sexual act on you and told you flat out not to make a joke about it. And for her to hurt you physically for it. Hope you bofh get some help and therapy.
She shouldn’t have done that, but honestly. I have no idea why you thought shaming her was a remotely good idea. Now you can deal with the self esteem issues she’s probably going to have for a considerable amount time
You’ve probably heard enough about how you shouldn’t have made that joke. You know what you did wrong, you know you were insensitive. Right now, I need to emphasize a different point for you.
What your girlfriend did to you is beyond unacceptable. YOU DO NOT PHYSICALLY HURT YOUR PARTNER. The only exception is if it’s in self-defense; you didn’t hurt her first, nor did you threaten her in anyway, so I don’t think her doing what she did to your penis was in self defense.
I know the following argument tends to be overdone, but I encourage you to think about this with the roles reversed. Imagine if she said something that offended you, and you decided to do something to her vulva that would be painful to her. Whatever she said to offend you would be irrelevant, you would still be in the wrong for doing that to her. Why would it be any different the other way around?
A normal reaction to getting offended from her position would be to just stop the sex. If she wanted to express her anger, it would have been enough to just stop the bj. But that’s not what she did–she had to hit you where it hurts, and that says something about her character.
If you do decide to continue this relationship, make sure you sit with her and explain to her why her actions were unacceptable. Make sure she hears your apology first. And if this is the end of your relationship, make sure to drop any woman who treats you like this.
Yeah, man. Bevare. Bevare. Bevare.
If you did that to her, then everyone would be telling her to dump you and call the cops on you. She basically physically attacked your genitals over a joke and some people here are convincing you that you’re the bad guy. Don’t get me wrong, you are a dumbass for making the joke given the context of what happened earlier, but it was a bit of playful banter nonetheless. You need to straight up confront her about physically harming you. Don’t let it slide.
Breakup with her and if possible yourself as well
That’s an immediate disqualification and ejection from the game. She’s done, the relationship is done.
It’s bad enough to deal with somebody who’s moody and hypersensitive. Someone who psycho and violent is completely unacceptable in my world.
The good news is you will find a much better fit soon enough.
Whoa, you two are toxic as hell. How do you think it’s ok to make fun of her weight? However, you doing that doesn’t warrant her to almost mutilate your genitals.
NEVER comment on a woman’s weight or age. You stupid or what?
She might joke back about it with you but you have no idea what it’s like for a woman and dealing with weight in this world. We basically think we’re fat from birth in this society. Stop doing that and just tell her how beautiful she is and how much you love her body.
She shouldn’t have hurt you though. Sorry that happened.
You are young and dumb.
First off;you should NEVER ever joke about someones weight. Second off what she did was also wrong, and abusive, even if she was mad at your joke it doesn’t make it okay. She should have stopped and walked away.
I think you both need to evaluate if your in a health relationship. Is it possible you two can make it more healthy maybe, but changes need to be made.