Hello, first post here.
I feel like i am not really respected by most of my friends. It is not a matter of being “intimidating”, or “looking like a leader” or something like that, i dont want that, i just want to be taken seriously sometimes. Friends will scream and say some horrible things to me and not say sorry afterwards, will feel confortable with laughing at my insecurities if a share it with then, and they also tend to disrespect me with some frequency.
I believe i am to blame, too. Since i was a kid, humor has been my favorite tool to cope with insecurities and engage in conversations, so i am usually seen as the clown of the group. I also look very harmless, as far as i am concerned.
Could you help me to be a little bit more respected?
2 comments
You have to understand that people subconsciously attach you to the value you bring. Ask yourself why should people should respect you. It cannot be because you are lonely and need attention. Are you a good conversationalist ? Are you fun and interesting to be around ? Do you bring positive vibes and positive social energy ? Are you directly impacting or adding to other people’s lives ? People look at these things in deciding to respect you.
People notice the way you act and carry yourself around them, especially in person. They can pick up on things like whether you are quiet, anxious, unconfident, etc. and they deduce you are not coming off as the fun, interesting, or positive person they want to be around. They also will think that you feel unworthy around them, thereby seeing you are putting them on a pedestal. When you put people on a pedestal, they will have no choice but to look down upon you.
You need to consistently practice listening and speaking to people in a confident manner, especially in person. You also need to pursue some hobbies and goals. That will make you become self confident, interesting, and respectable in a natural way. Chase excellence, not people.
Stand up for yourself and let them know when your boundaries are crossed. If they keep crossing your boundaries, cut ties. Recognize that you have value simply for being, and project that. You don’t owe anyone anything. You don’t have to make yourself acceptable to anyone. If they don’t like it, they can go jump off a pier.