So, a little background info:
I am f/20 and had PIV sex for the first time a couple of days ago with m/27. Not in a relationship but friends since like 6months and platonic since like 1month. He’s very caring and understanding, I feel comfortable and safe with him which is why it came pretty natural to have sex with him.
Had a great time, he knew it was my first and he was very considerate. Didn’t hurt at all except for a little discomfort the first time he entered. Everything about the act was pleasurable and I am really happy with how it went.
I do have a “problem” though, these days after I have felt like empty/dissappointed/drained and I don’t know why.
I have heard people talk about how they felt physically or psychologically after they lost their virginity, but only when the experience wasn’t good. I can understand a feeling of regret, shame or whatever if you’re not happy with how it went, with whom or when etc. Also if religion or other social constructs have affected your thoughts of sex I can see how someone might have negative feelings surrounding their sex debut (even though they should not)
I live in a very secularized country (where religion is like non existent, at least in my community). I have never heard anyone around me put shame on sex in any way so I don’t have like any of those beliefs imprinted on me.
It’s almost like disappointment in a way but I can’t figure out why.
Did any of you also feel this, or have an idea of why I do?
4 comments
Try your screen name as a starter to your problem.
You may be more of a romantic than you care to admit?
since he was your first, you’re still in the Everything-is-pinky-flowers-and-hearts phase – you’re just feeling the romantic aspect of commitment towards him – thats natural – don’t overthink it too much
If you feel like it, just call him and talk to him
Because sex is about forming and strengthening a loving bond between 2 people. When you have sex with someone, you are giving them unseen part of you that is intense, vulnerable, and very powerful. When you give it away to someone you are not trying to have that kind of bond with, then of course you will feel empty because you are not getting back what you gave.
For women, sex (for the first time)isn’t what it’s all hyped up to be.
It’s extremely uncomfortable or even painful for most women for the first several times and until you can feel comfortable with expressing yourself sexually.