I’ve just become sexually actively, and I’ve noticed something strange. Just wondering if anyone had advice or something that could explain this phenomenon.
During actual intercourse, I have no problem reaching orgasm in a normal amount of time. But during purely foreplay activities – BJs or HJs – I seem to be unable to orgasm unless I’m actively putting effort in – concentrating a lot, thrusting into it, tensing pretty roughly. My partner (also M) has no trouble reaching orgasm in minutes with these activities, totally relaxed. But if I try relaxing, it will go on FOREVER. It’ll feel great, but there won’t be a buildup to orgasm. So I can’t really have an orgasm happen to me – I have to make myself orgasm, if that makes sense.
An important piece of info to add would be that I often tense my butt muscles during masturbating. I’m not sure how normal this is – my partner says he’s never heard of it, but I think I’ve been doing this for years. I’m worried that could be something to do with this issue, but if I totally relaxed myself, it would take a very very long time. Have I done some permanent damage to my body by doing this to years, or is there really nothing to worry about / this is just normal?
3 comments
Do you jerk off frequently? Maybe take a break from jerking off because you could be desensitizing yourself
I’m the same way. Blowjobs and handjobs are nice, but I prefer to penetrate or masturbate. I like the tightness. Idk if it’s connected, but for contest I’m uncut. Perhaps that plays a role?
I also do the butt muscle thing when masturbating too! I thought I was alone in that.
Happens that way for me as well. Sometimes more, sometimes less so but I relate to that very much.