i’ve been seeing my partner for about a year now, and lately we’ve been having a hard time communicating. there has been things in our relationship that have been leaving me feeling unsatisfied and craving some reassurance, but i ignore them and push them away because i don’t want to start a fight. this is not natural for me, i typically like to talk things out and handle things as they come up so it’s really been a struggle for me to hold back.
i am considering trying to write letters or notes to communicate how i feel and letting him choose how he’d like to respond. in the past when i try to bring up things that are bothering me in our relationship, or just hard topics to talk about, he either gets extremely defensive, impatient, tells me i’m “ruining the night”, or just fully shuts down and plugs his ears/ignores me. i really can’t handle these responses and i get frustrated as well and we usually end up fighting until we both just drop the topic for the night and we never bring it up again so it doesn’t get resolved.
i don’t want to text about it because it just feels like there’s more of a disconnect to me, and there’s more pressure for him to respond right when he reads the text and i think the pressure to respond is what causes him to get angry.
has anybody tried to discuss things with their partner via letters? does this seem like a good idea or would it be a waste of my time?
1 comment
I think this is a great way to handle things. Letters are personal, intimate, and show that you really care about the person and about resolving the issue. I wrote a letter to my best friend because nothing else seemed to be working and I poured my heart into it and the issue was resolved once and for all.
I would also make sure to keep the letter balanced and speak of the positives as well to not further escalate things and suggest some ways of handling the issue.