It’s going on two months and I haven’t had sex with her, she and I spoke and know from her past she has a consensual issue with a person. She also has told me she doesn’t know how to initiate sex and doesn’t feel comfortable when I I initiate it. I know she is not cheating, and prior to her and I going out she had not had sex in 2 years she stated, so she and I would have sex often but now we don’t anymore or very little. When I try and talk about it, it usual turns into an argument and she ends up not wanting to speak me for days or a week. I don’t cheat and would not cheat on her but I don’t know how many times i csn masturbate anymore. I am feeling like she just doesn’t like to have sex with amd i don’t know what to do. Talking doesmt work and my sexual advances aren’t working either. I am just hoping for some advice or something to help me out.
6 comments
Big red flag. 2 top reasons for divorce is money and sex. You’re not even married and already having sex problems. This will be a life long struggle, do you want that?
If she’s not willing to work on the problem, there really isn’t anything you **can** do.
If you already have these type of issues before you are even married, imagine how bad it will get down the road. Take it as an early warning and find somebody you are more compatible with.
This is not fixable, not only do you have intimacy issues, but you have major communication issues too. If she shuts you down whenever you bring up concerns and then just gives you the silent treatment for weeks on end, it’s time to cut your losses and exit the relationship. She doesn’t want to fix it. She is happy not having sex and not talking to you. So make it permanent and find yourself a more compatible partner.
Ok you got it out of your system and is not bad to ask for advices but…. From the moment she don’t see this as something bad then what is more to say? You are trying and she is not fighting it with you.
I would say and advice you to approach her deeper, show her how purely you love her and I really hope for you that she will open up , tell you her trouble and u guys can live happily ever after………
But if this wont work too then u shouldn’t be with someone who wont try or approach or join u to solve a problem. Ain’t about sex, is about a problem in the relationship.
Does she cuddle u? Do u have other type of loving convos or something similar? Do u love her enough to never have sex with her again if thats what she wants? She also deserves to be happy as much as u do.
But overall, you know the answer to this…. u can try and do the advices people give u but eventually u have to stop trying to avoid the inevitable.
Wishing u the best.
You can try couple’s counseling. I would delay marriage until the issue improves.