I have always been a bit scared of meeting new people, but i just brushed it of as me being a introvert. Recently i have noticed that i have really been comparing myself to people a lot after a event that happened when i was around 14/15 (im 18 now), in one day i suddenly got Body Dysmorphia which was only present without a shirt. I have actually fixed this problem about 1 year ago when i started going to the gym.
The problem of comparing myself to people really only exists when meeting new people, not even persee meeting them. Just going out i have noticed that i am comparing myself to almost every random person i see. How good i feel at any given moment in public or when meeting new people really depends on if i feel i am socially above them. I just can’t start a conversation with anyone i perceive as above me, but if they start talking to me i dont have any problem.
I have noticed that i seem to think someone is above me when they have/are:
1. More confidence than me
2. Older than me
3. More muscular then me
4. Taller then me
In that order
Im a pretty attractive guy so normally i dont really have problems socially so my problem went pretty much under the radar but i recently moved to a area when a lot of people are more muscular then me and i just cant seem the talk to them
Can anyone please give me any advice on how i can stop comparing myself to everyone i see.
2 comments
Just remember that nobody shits strawberry ice cream, and the only people who start at the top are gravediggers and skydivers.
Of all the folks you listed, none of them are inherently any better than you. Not one of them. The only person who is putting them above you is you.
Therapy would most definitely help if this is a serious issue. While it’s somewhat normal that everyone has some insecurities about themselves, be it about their body or whatever else (voice maybe?), this is something that as you say, runs deep.
But what I would try first is the mindset of “Everyone’s friendly, you just have to go first”.