I (f22) keep telling my partner (m21) that i wish i also received oral. I give it to him constantly, not out of duty but because i really enjoy giving. As much as I enjoy it, sometimes i wish i could just stop giving him so much when i never receive any in return. It leaves me extremely sexually unfulfilled, frustrated and a bit bitter.
The thing is i dont feel like withholding oral from him will solve anything. Not only does it take away one of my favorite parts and his pleasure but it makes it seem like if he does give me oral it will be out of duty or because he wants his privileges returned.
Also, Ive never really received oral, so im honestly extremely self conscious about it… my smell, taste, body, etc. This means that on the only 2 times in years he has ever tried to offer ive withdrawn. For me to feel comfortable and not obsess over how i look/taste/smell i need him to be enthusiastic and desire it/enjoy it. Therefore i feel any solution that involves forcing or giving an ultimatum wont actually solve the issue for me.
So my question is, is there anyway to solve this issue or are we just sexually incompatible?
3 comments
First thing you need to do is get over being self conscious. You want it but then when he tried you wouldn’t let him.
I love doing it but my partner has stopped me on several occasions, now I rarely try anymore.
If she asks I’m more than happy to oblige, but that’s just it she has to ask for it now.
Ok, as far as taste, you can rule out a negative taste issue by just tasting yourself. If you like it or it is OK, then there is a good chance it isn’t that. Of course everyone thinks things taste different, but vagina is usually something that is either pleasant or not. Same with smell, when you taste it, you will smell it and there you go. If you rule out a negative taste and smell, you need to have a serious talk with him and just kindly explain to him that the sex isn’t working for you, you expect for him to go down on you if you are going to do it to him. If he cares anything about you, he will understand and gladly agree with you and go down on you next time. If he protests, or acts like he doesn’t want to, just tell him that you will have sex with him but won’t go down anymore. If you really desire this in your relationship, and he won’t do it, he isn’t the one for you. Your b/f should love you and care enough about your wants and needs to make sure you are fully satisfied in every way.
If he doesn’t want to do it, that’s that. He may come to feel differently over time, or he may not, whether or not you stau with him is up to you. My fiance and i have been together for almost 12 years now, and for most of that time, she didn’t want to. That sucked, it’s a big deal for me, but it wasn’t a reason to leave. She did come around to it, which is amazing, but this wouldn’t have been a deal breaker personally.
How is the relationship otherwise? Also, does sex in general feel fulfilling to you? Or is it just that you would like to enjoy this too? These are two very different issues.