I have a friend who is really nice and we have a lot in common, but she is too attached to me. She’s really loud, talks nonstop and doesn’t understand personal boundaries. I can’t even be to myself at break or lunch without her pulling up a chair next to me to talk nonstop about herself. I’ve mentioned to her before that we don’t always need to be together and she can be overstimulating (I’m a major introvert) and wanted a nice way to say she’s draining, but it seems like she’s just not getting it and frankly she’s becoming really draining to me. She has mentioned that I’m her only friend and others usually find she obnoxious and loud, but It’s coming to a point where I can’t even have time to recharge and be to myself
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Instead of putting it on her, you could say that you’re exhausted and need some alone time to recharge. It’s the truth, and noone gets hurt.
People respond to actions, not words. So Stop entertaining some, if not all, contact from them online or offline. If you must, be polite but keep responses short. They will get the hint,
Like someone else mentioned, try setting some boundaries based on your needs. If she pulls up and starts chatting, you could say you are meditating, recharging, need time to yourself to recover, etc.
You could try pointing her in the direction of a lunchtime club (if you have them) and it will both give you a break and give her a chance to make other friends.
When she mentions her social flaws, does she seem sort of clueless, or like she’s very aware what she’s doing but can’t stop? I’m not sure how invested you are in the friendship, but having an open conversation with a little coaching might go a long way… But it’s absolutely not your responsibility if you don’t have the energy for that.
Hey Name, you know how you are kind of intense to be around, right? And you know I am more of a quiet type and need to recharge sometimes especially since we’re at work. But I also like talking with you when I have the energy, since we have so much in common. I need to put our hangouts on a schedule. Then something like: Let’s just talk every other day, or Let’s not talk at work but we can get together on the weekend, or Friday after work, … etc, whatever makes sense for you.
Definitely stay away as much as I can
Your friend may have ADHD or something similar, has she been evaluated?
Source: Me. I was that friend. Drove a lot of people off. Diagnosed very late in life.
My advice to your friend would be to find a better friend