Over the past couple of years, I’ve compared myself to others, read about how people carry themselves on the internet, and decided I would improve the way I carry myself.
Now I realize that this is objectively unhealthy, comparing yourself to others is toxic, but it gave me the kick in the pants to begin working on myself. By that I mean physically and mentally.
Ive built a margin of improvement relative to my old self, because of comparing myself to others. I don’t like that I did this, but negativity is what it took for me to realize the ability I have to control and direct my life. This applies socially of course.
Now that I can look at how Ive improved, I don’t care about comparing myself to others as much, because I can see the value of relative self improvement.
This relative self improvement has no end. I speak to close friends about things I’ve normalized as being common, and realize that my ideologies have pushed me into uncommon territory or at least that’s what it seems like. Maybe I’m ignorant and arrogant. I read about men cold approaching strangers, and I compared myself and started doing it. I talked to a friend and he says that he’s never cold approached anyone before. Maybe he’s the outlier. This is just an example.
But what if I hadn’t built that confidence through toxicity? The jealousy and ideology of what is possible socially pushed me to change myself. Is there another way to begin swimming upstream against social anxiety?
I want to believe there’s a non-toxic way of beginning momentum for social confidence and self improvement.
What do you guys think?