In the past I’ve told my mom that she texts me way too much. She says that she’ll stop, but she still texts me like 3-4 times a day.
When I’m out of town, she double the amount she texts me and I hate it. It’s almost like she’s my girlfriend rather than my mom. And when I ignore her, she’ll still keep texting me.
26 comments
Do you think she’s worried while you are away? Maybe the texts are reassuring her that you are ok?
My son is only nine and I have anxiety. I’m not sure how that will manifest once he is an adult.
Just don’t answer. She is mom this is what she does. Check in with her once a day. Hi mom, still alive, text you tomorrow, love me
Mute her notifications and only check once a day. Tell her you’re doing this because she won’t respect your wishes
“Mom, I don’t have time to text you all day long. You’ll get two texts a day. One in the morning and one in the evening. I’m not reading or responding to any other texts during the day.”
Then you follow through and ignore whatever comes in during the day. You don’t have to answer every single text she sends you.
You have many options, including not responding, muting, blocking, and deleting texts without reading them. You can block her number from texting you completely if she acts this way.
Bro just call your mom and have a quick chat like every other day. It’s not that hard.
Your gonna get a lot of different opinions here, from what I can tell the older crowd will tell you to talk to her n the younger ones are more likely to tell you to block her.
The decision you have to make is how often YOU want to talk to her. Tell her what you want and then if she doesn’t respect your wishes you could then take the needed action(blocking muting etc)
The boundaries you set with people now will determine how you live your life and let them know what you want.
When I first moved out my mother did the same thing, calling all the time(doesn’t text) just to call 20 mins later for a repeat conversation or to tell me how to do stuff that’s already done(and she knows I know how to do)
I had to get stern with her and started to hang up on her if she started with the repeating unsolicited advice. It took a couple weeks and me calling her at 4 am twice for her to get what she was doing but she stopped. I get she was worried but that’s NO excuse to do what she was doing.
Our relationship is fine now she just needed to realize I didn’t need my mom everyday anymore
so mute her???
Jeez. Even texting every day with your Mom seems extreme. I love my Mom, but we talk maybe once a week? I mean, what the hell is there to say on a daily basis? I spilled coffee on myself and had to change my shirt? Maybe people’s lives are just more exciting than mine, but I just don’t have a lot of “daily news updates”. I woke up, went to work, came home, watched TV or gamed, etc.I don’t think I need to tell her that I did a load of laundry or that I punked out on doing the dishes until tomorrow and left them in the sink.
Like others have said, I think you should just tell her you’re only going to respond once a day and mute notifications until you’re ready to read her texts and respond.
Is she, maybe, lonely?
Not to sound dark, but you’ll miss those 3-4 notifications a day when she dies 🙁 someone else said mute the notifications and I agree
My mom would call me over and over-sometime 10+ times per day. I had to set boundaries and told her if she kept it up I would block her. I tell her exactly when we can talk and keep my word. It seems to work out ok for us.
I highly recommend the muting aspect. You’ve already set the boundary that you’ll only respond once a day and seem to be holding that really well, so it seems the issue is pretty much just the annoyance of constant notifications. Muting will help with that. If you do feel the once a day is still too much for you, you can use this as the opportunity to cut back further.
I mute my mom because I like having the opportunity to sit down and scroll thru a bunch of messages before a phone call, she’s on an infodiet so this gives me things to talk to her about because i wont tell her much about my life. I only send a good morning text and do a phone call at least once per month(I aim for once a week tho). I’m also 95% sure my sister has me muted because we talk all day every day and she doesn’t keep her phone on silent.
Bro you will miss those texts the day she leaves this world. You’ll wait everyday for her text but she will not be there to text you. Just appreciate what you have right now before it’s too late.
Well when she’s gone, you’re going to miss her texting you. She is just being a mom.
Definitely mute. I do this with my work group messages.
I hate being bothered by anyone when I’m out for a day or a weekend because it’s such a short time. I usually send out a message saying I won’t answer messages on this day or that weekend. People who ignore my boundaries are ignored for a while. Now if it was an actual emergency (which it’s not unless you consider what color they are painting their own walls an emergency) I wouldn’t mind. I’m also 32 and married so I never travel alone.
I get it. It’s annoying. But my mum died in 2015 and I’d give anything to have her message me again. Try to see it from a different perspective and appreciate you have a mum that loves you
Put her text on silent
Block her when out of town. Before you leave, hey mom won’t have cell service, text you when I get back.
Sit down with mom and tell her 1 text max a day, and only if it is important. Remind her you are 25 and will block her for a week when she doesn’t control herself.
“My mom is dead, you should feel terrible”
My mom is dead too. I miss her dearly. But OP is still allowed to have boundaries.
Some of the people in these comments don’t get it. A lot of people feel anxiety when people message us repeatedly. We are busy but feel obligated to respond. We feel guilty (or even get guilted) for not responding in a timely manner. I never understand why everyone will defend the people who push boundaries but never defend the people who’s boundaries are being violated.
Mute her, then respond later. If somebody pushes you, push back harder until they give up.
Silence her notifications. If she won’t respect the space you need you can do it for her
I understand your side but I also understand her side. Your mum cares about you. I understand you want to feel free from her. If you block her it’s your choice at the end of the day.
However I will tell you, think hard before you act. I wish my mum could text me
> And when I ignore her, she’ll still keep texting me.
i fail to see the problem. just ignore, respond maybe once a day or two tapering to a week, but only to recent stuff
Your mom just loves you lol get over it