I have had sex at least 1,000 times and I have never orgasmed during it. I can’t cum unless im doing clit stuff by myself. And a huge part of being able to cum is watching porn. it feels so hot, safe, comfortable, and my feelings and imagination are in perfect harmony. i have even cum 10 times in one day from masturbating. I love it. and I want sex to be the same.

I can’t keep up like this, its not good for being in a relationship. foreplay with my current partner is good and i feel safe with him. even if i use a vibrator, which i can cum with alone, i don’t cum.

any ideas what this is about? tips? thanks guys.

9 comments

  1. You’re addicted to masturbating. You’re losing sensation from the sounds of it. Sex is never going to be the same as masturbation. Also, you may never cum from penetrative sex, many women can’t/don’t.

  2. You said you had sex 1,000 times, can’t any of those guys play with you? What I mean is, find a guy that will enjoy masterbating with you, so you can incorporate what you like with that person. Slowly make a transition to more sex, less hands and fingers. Does oral do anything for you?

  3. I’m much like your bf. One thing you might try is to blend what gets you off (porn plus masturbation) with sex with him. For example, do your normal masturbation routine but with him joining you. Maybe have him stimulate your boobs, put his dick in your mouth while you’re masturbating and watching porn. Your brain will presumably start associating orgasms and familiar comfortable sex routines with sex with your bf. After a few of those sessions you can slowly reduce the porn while still having orgasms. It’s worth a try anyway.

  4. Perhaps switch over to a toy like the Womaniser that doesnt have direct clitoral contact. Still feels great though 🙂

  5. My wife can not cum unless she is totaLy in the moment mentally

    She can be in the brink of an orgasm and something would distract her and we have to start over again

    My wife can now cum from penetration alone
    She needs clotorious stimulation

    And that is not from my size I am only 6.5 inches at my best state
    Amd we have used dildos that are much larger than my cock, Amd she still needs to flick the beam to get there

    Some times the orgasm is not always going to happen

    Think if it like a man loosing wood, sometimes it happens

    But if you can make yourself cum, that with the right coaching anybody can make you cum

  6. Quit masturbating, quit porn. It takes self control, but if you want to get out of that rut, you need to stop. I had an ex who had no problem cumming when we first started dating. As soon as she bought her first wand, she started masturbating 3-5 times a day and when we’d finally have sex, I wasn’t able to make her cum as easily anymore. Her sensitivity went way down. Other factors may be your diet, exercise, sleep cycle, or mental health.

  7. I was like this for a long while. Somehow I just kept trying and trying… and I’ve been able to cum from using the vibrator during sex but it can still be kinda hard. The older I’ve gotten and the better the partner is the easier it is.

    I don’t agree with the comment about losing sensation or being addicted to masturbating though. That has nothing to do with it, it’s more of a mental block I think.

    Also, I feel like the vibrator on clitoris orgasm is a different type of orgasm.. I feel like I feel something close to it during oral, g-spot stimulation, nipple play, and penetration… I feel some sort of climax — it’s just not the same as the orgasm from clitoral vibration.

    I would try different positions, different speed/depth of penetration, and even anal play while using the vibrator and really let go mentally , sometimes when you think to hard about trying to cum it makes it difficult.

  8. tbh I’m the same, never ever once came with a partner. it’s normal, some woman genuinely cannot cum with their partner. I don’t watch porn at all and I’ve gone weeks without my toy and it doesn’t help so I think that advice is sometimes a bit damaging to say “stop using your toy”. I told my partners I’ve never came with a guy and they all get super shocked but I also refuse to fake it, I enjoy sex nonetheless and is super horny so it’s not like it ruins the experience for me.

    I think just being open to your partner about it, it’s obviously not a them issue if you’ve never came with a person before.
    tbh I would rather my partner cum 100000 times than me ever cumming once. i have a massive please kink so although I enjoy what I do, I don’t care for cum from it.

    I think a partner getting upset makes sense if it seems you don’t enjoy the sex due to not cumming, but for me I’m always open about it with partners so it’s not a shocker for them when we do the deed lots. again I rather just focus on them finishing than anything😇

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