Hey all, wanted to get some advice on a predicament I’m in
I was seeing this girl a couple months ago that I really hit it off with. We met with the intention of potentially having a relationship, and had multiple dates and went to first base.
For whatever reason, she messaged me later and said she just didn’t feel a spark and wanted to be friends. No worries, I understood and wished her well.
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Fast forward to today, and she’s started liking my stories and messaging me asking to meet up. I asked if this was a sign that she was interested in meeting again to no avail… But it seems she really wants to be friends; she genuinely enjoys spending time with me. I told her I was down to try being friends about a week ago.
Nowadays, she’ll often ask me for advice on how to respond in social situations (she has social anxiety). She also doesn’t have many friends (none in her area besides me), so I feel bad ending this “friendship”… But I really don’t know if I want to continue this friendship. I feel like I can’t move on as long as I’m seeing her… but I also don’t wanna hurt her by abandoning her (she seems to really trust me for whatever reason).
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I might just be people-pleasing in this case, but I’m curious if anyone has any suggestions in what I should do here. Is it worth holding onto this “friendship”? Should I cut ties immediately? Should I let time heal the wounds before reengaging as friends? I’m torn between these decisions.
2 comments
No you should not continue to be friends. You’re going to end up hurting yourself and her In the end. Staying friends with the girl you like is never good. What you should is be straight forward and tell her that you’re not interested in a platonic relationship but you are still interested in her romantically. If she doesn’t accept it then she accept. But you can’t continue to hurt yourself to please her. You need to stand your ground as a man.
No it’s not healthy at all to be friends with someone you’re attracted to and want more from.
For your own sake, I’d say it’s better to cut her off.
And you know what? Even if you didn’t have any feelings at all, it’s still ok to not want to be friends with someone simply because you can’t be bothered.