How do I decide how important intimacy is for me and if this is a deal breaker? He wants to wait until marriage or engagement before he does the p in the v. And I totally respect that. I don’t want him to do anything he isn’t ready for.
I however want to have sex. He said we can be in bed together and do other things, although he didn’t really say what he was willing to do specifically. Is that a good compromise? He also won’t give me any tongue when he kisses me. He says it’s too sloppy and he doesn’t like it. But he liked when I gave him a little, which I don’t think is fair.
I’m just afraid that as far as physical affection is concerned, I’m not really going to be satisfied in this relationship. But am I being too demanding and not flexible or patient? I want my needs to be met, but I don’t want to ask too much of him or make him feel uncomfortable.
He is m24, I am f29.
12 comments
Your needs have to be met plain and simple. How else is a relationship supposed to develop?
I for one need to match sexually. I have a HL and wife LL and that sends me to self-pleasure and explore kinks on my own while feeling some regret and hiding some things under this alt account. If we both matched sexually then I would be all over her whenever we have spare moments and like the shit out of her puss randomly. Play with toys and explore our bodies in many different positions. However, she dont want a finger in the puss and no other play except for my tongue. She will stroke me but I prefer doing that myself, no blow jobs but an occasional feel up stroke when driving or little stuff like that. However, we make up for lots in daily living so most of that is looked passed. But if I had to find another then now i know sex exploration is on the top of my list.
You can declare sexual incompatibility and move on. It happens. You want different things so maybe you’re just not right for each other
>How do I decide how important intimacy is for me and if this is a deal breaker?
The only person who can do that for you is you.
FWIW the fact you’re on here asking this tells me you’re not ok with this arrangement.
I appreciate you respecting your BF’s boundaries. That is admirable.
However, you need to think about the longevity of this. Ask yourself this: Do you think you could go 2+ years without being intimate with him?
Fact is, your needs are not being met. You have agreed to compromise on that and he hasn’t. He isn’t giving up anything, but you are giving up a lot.
IMHO, I think you guys are sexually incompatible. OFC, sex isn’t the only aspect in a relationship but you are already worried you won’t be satisfied.
Listen to your gut in these situations!
You will find someone whom can meet your needs.
This is going to get worse if/when you get married, not better.
Time to go…
I think you just have to be direct with it. You want to have sex, if he does not it won’t work out.
I’ll never understand how people get married without having sex first. That’s a huge area to see your compatibility.
Nothing wrong with his boundary. You might not be compatible. But he might have that boundary for other reasons. Does he have a micro penis?
Time to move on.
This is not your fulfilling relationship.
Would you be okay waiting if he proposed in like 6 months?
Would you be ok with getting married to someone you’ve never had sex with only to discover sexually you aren’t compatible at all?
If the answers to those are both NO then you’ve got your answer.
You don’t say in your post how old you both are but I think I would slow things down quite a bit until you get to know him better because this sounds like an incompatibility issue.