For me, I’m willing to forgo mine until they can get theirs, anyone else feel the same?

46 comments

  1. I’ll give it my all but my feelings won’t be hurt if they don’t. Hell, there are women on here who can’t orgasm while masturbating with power tools. Considering that, what chance do we have?

  2. Most of the time I don’t. Having vaginal orgasm really hard for me. Even with clitoral stimulation it takes long time and do feel bad for him actually because he feels like he has to go 40 minutes straight sometimes. I know he enjoys a lot more if I climax first.

  3. It’s possible for both partners to experience lots of pleasure without orgasm. Sure, it’s nice, but not a be all end all. As a male I take pride in making my partners cum, repeatedly and in quick succession. I just like to fuck, so if I don’t cum I don’t get upset.

  4. I find it very important that my husband gets off. I orgasm easily so it’s never a concern that I don’t but the couple of times he hasn’t left me feeling like it wasn’t fair/fulfilling for him. I also don’t feel as fulfilled and my orgasm high disappears quickly when he doesn’t get his too.

  5. I’m far from a selfish lover. Nothing turns me on more than seeing my partners climax, and I like making sure they get at least one in before I do. It’s not a blow to my ego if they don’t, but I’m more than happy to try.

  6. Extremely, but it doesn’t always happen. We’re human. Sometimes you can have great fun without it.

  7. I am obsessed with female orgasms. Its 8 years ago that a wlman made me cum, but i caused many female orgasms in these 8 years 😍

  8. You can’t worry about making it happen during sex. It’s putting too much pressure on both of you. But you can ask if they would like you to finish them off after if it doesn’t happen. And the next time you can offer to do before if they would like.

  10. For me (I’m a female) it takes way more time and effort to orgasm . And when I don’t I get in a very frustrated mood afterwards even if sex was very good. I told my boyfriend about that so he does everything in his power to satisfy me first, not always works out tho.
    Cuz after he comes he can’t continue with anything, and I can and want)
    It even feels like I get more aroused after a good orgasm.

  11. Very important. I get anxious if I do and my partner doesn’t. Like I can’t help but think they’ll think I’m selfish.

  13. My wife and I are both 50. She’s never orgasmed easily and a lot of the time if I wait for her that’s putting too much pressure on her. We have sex often and I sometimes due to my age I can’t get there.

    Ideally, she would orgasm every time and I would too. But in reality she has an orgasm 33% of the time and I have one 90% of the time. I always try to give her one first, though.

  14. Super important! Often I orgasm the moment I feel him orgasm, it’s a compound feeling.

  15. It used to be very important to make her cum every time but as our relationship has progressed it’s become less important to focus simply on making her cum, and more about her enjoyment of the whole session, which in turn will usually lead to orgasms. Usually we each have one but it doesn’t matter who’s first. Lately we’ve been having much longer sessions without any PIV penetration, just playing with hands and mouths and toys, which has been a lot of fun. PIV sex is great of course and IMO it’s as intimate as you can get, but if you take it off the menu for a night it opens up the door for a lot of creativity.

    Basically, we are no longer in the “get her off and then go to pound town” phase. Even if only one or neither of us cum, what’s important now is that we both enjoy it.

    *Edit: elaborated because my original comment didn’t properly answer the question.*

  17. Very important to me. Knowing that my partner enjoyed it is really important for me to feel good about the experience. An orgasm is not the only measure of how good of a time she had, but it’s a big one in my mind. It doesn’t always happen, but usually does and I prefer it that way.

  18. Very. I get a lot of satisfaction in knowing that I’m pleasing my partner. Hell it’s almost like a kink to me, knowing my partner got off gives me so much satisfaction

  21. My top priority is to make him feel good and my main goal is to make him cum-I love it and crave it! Of course if neither of us can make it happen that’s okay, I’m working on not sulking and making sure to still enjoy the intimacy of being together:)

  22. I mean, ideally I’d like them to have several, so I’m happy to forgo mine till they’ve had one or 2 . Though I recognise the flaw in that perspective being that if everyone delays their orgasm till their partners had one no-one is having orgasms. But I find a spirit of generosity is the best way to go about sex. As long as everyone enjoyed themselves and feels satisfied I’m happy.

  24. Women typically feel more sensitive after coming and take more effort in order to come so I like to make sure they get at least one first 😁

    During sex also works if they are able to consistently enough.

  25. It’s pretty important. But more important? Knowing exactly what she wants. Women don’t always want an orgasm, every session. Understanding the complexities of their minds is the key.

  27. It is very important to me. personally I want multiple from my partner. Usually before during and after. but she often stops when I am done.

    I like foreplay and like to make her orgasm with my hands/toys before we start.

  28. If she wants one I will work on that. Mine can wait. sometimes I will focus on mine if she doesn’t seem like it will be easy for her to get there. When the energy isn’t there.

    Then we can use a toy afterwards with some help from me….

  29. Well, that’s kind of the goal of having sex, so yes, it’s important. Owing to the fact that many women have difficulty orgasming via PIV sex a smart guy will do his level best to make sure she gets off via oral before penetration, after, or both. As a guy I sometimes can’t quite get there, particularly after prolonging the PIV activity. And while that’s fine by me, my wife would prefer that I had, but in general terms in most situations guys are comparatively easy.

  30. I feel the same. I will take care of my partner first before seeking my own orgasm. Prolonged Foreplay is the key!

  31. Honestly it’s important to me that she cums. I try to make her cum 1st a couple of times. Usually twice or so before (foreplay, head, fucking etc) then I do. Happens most of the time but sometimes…UH-OH SPAGHETTI O’S! For me though? It’s cool if I don’t cum sometimes. I still get hard but I may be stressed out or have things on my mind that keep me from truly enjoying the moment. In those cases I try to get her off then I’m good.

  32. I (30m) don’t care about my own orgasm, but rather do enjoy making my gf climax. Probably because I have anorgasmia, so its rare to actually have an orgasm that I can feel

  33. Very important I know most women don’t even experience them so I like to make sure I get them where they want to go

  34. My partner almost never does because of of the meds they’re on and I almost never do because of performance anxiety, so we just go until we’re both exhausted lol

  36. Same. I’m a man, and sometimes I just..don’t. But as long as she gets hers, we married.

    Tomorrow is another day. I can wait.

  37. 49 outta 50 times it’s my top priority. And I’m proud to say more than one woman has had their first partner orgasm with me. Persistence, listening, and adaptability all add up to big, big smiles and shuddering Os

  38. My husband always makes it a priority for me to orgasm. Depends on the session if it happened first if he went down on me before PIV, or if it happens during PIV. If he cums and I haven’t and he can’t keep going he will go down on me until I do. Love him. I also always make sure he is fully satisfied as well. The rule should always be, anyone who wants an orgasm gets an orgasm.

  39. My wife’s pleasure is my number one priority. Whether by fingers, mouth, toys, PIV, I definitely want her to climax as many times as she pleases. However, on rare occasions, when we opt for a quickie, she might say things like “faster”, or “fuck my pussy”, or “wreck that little pussy”, of which ALL are instant triggers for me. I’m certainly ok with this. It’s just a subtle way for her to say she’s not really in the mood, but I want you to get yours.

  41. Very. He is a very… *giving…* man. He puts me first, and makes sure I have many before we get to intercourse. Especially because I generally can’t come vaginally. My feeling is that, if he put in that much work, I need to reciprocate and make sure his *one* orgasm is just as good. (Also, we’re old, so when we’re done… we’re done. At least for the night).

    Being such a giving man, there will be times when he spends all his time to *solely* please me, expecting nothing in return. That used to make me feel so selfish, but he’s told me enough times that seeing me get off is reward enough, that I think I finally believe it. I see plenty of dudes here say the same thing, but it’s still hard not to feel selfish when I got mine, but he didn’t get his.

  42. My girl has vaginal orgasms now for the first time in her life ever since she started dating me so now I always make sure that she has them when we fuck. And depending if we have time or not I give her multiple

  43. To be honest I think the point of sex is pleasure, not necessarily the orgasm. You can enjoy sex even if you don’t climax.

  44. I’m a woman, and I know it might be unpopular but I don’t mind if I don’t cum during sex. I think sex feels great regardless, but like a lot of women, I can’t finish purely from penetration. Sometimes I’ll rub my clit and that’ll make me cum during sex. My man is a trooper, though- he always makes me cum at least once or twice from fingering and/or going down on me before we have sex, during which he will finish. Firm believer that it’s not about the destination, but the journey

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