Hi all, this is my first post on reddit so please be nice lol! This is a bit of a minor thing compared to alot of the other stuff I’ve seen in this community, but I don’t really feel comfortable venting anywhere else, so here goes! I’ve recently been studing quite hard for my HSC exams (end of high school exams in Australia), and to celebrate I thought I might host a small gathering of my 3 close friends pretty soon after they end for me. I then managed to find out that all 3 of said close friends were invited to a bigger end of HSC celebration hosted by someone within our extended friend group. I want to make it clear that I am not particularly good friends with this person, and under normal circumstances I would not be upset at all, however finding out that my 3 close friends (we are a pretty close group – spent the last 3 months studying together every day) as well as pretty much all of my other friends (people I was closer with in previous years but still talk to very often, and still get along with very well) were invited stung quite a lot. Perhaps this has all been exacerbated by the stress of exams, but for the last day or two I have found it really hard to focus on much else. This may also just be some slight insecurity, but I’ve spent the last couple hours feeling pretty humiliated, isolated, confused, and to an extent, quite angry as well. In my mind, it isn’t particulary courteous to not invite one specific person to a party to which the majority of their cohort and mutual friends are attending, and while I do understand that to this person I may not be a good/close friend, I think that in their shoes I still would have sent the invite just for politeness’ sake. Anyway, I wanted to get some kind of external opinion on my little mental freakout – some advice perhaps on the way I should proceed. I was specifically wondering if confronting (non-aggressivly of course) this person over DM’s is a good or bad move. More than anything however I just want to rationalise this whole thing so I can get on with my physics exam lol. Thank you in advance for any and all responses.
EDIT: I have just realised what my account name is. I have no excuse, all I can say is that I seem to have made a reddit account with a really offensive name when I was 13 and cannot remove it now. I apologise.
6 comments
Speak to your close friends and ask if they can get you an invite. If they can – great. If not – tell them you’ve been left out on a limb.
Could be an easy one to resolve, so worth exploring 👍
Life’s lessons will continue to bombard you throughout life. One of them is definitely people can be assholes both consciously and subconsciously. You have an apparent dislike for this person and this person decided to keep you away. This is a perfectly natural decision.
I suggest you focus your energy on making yourself better in school work and social work. It is a long life and there will be many people crossing your path in life. Try harder to accept any an all people for who they are. If the person is evil, by all means stay away. if the person is different, accept them for their differences and continue down you path undeterred.
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Once you leave high school, and move on to the next level, you will quickly forget about this and possibly your friends. It’s a big world out there!
Your friend should bring you
Focusing on not being invited won’t help you in the long run. It does hurt and it’s good that you’re acknowledging that and being honest with yourself. Trust me, your People are out there!! It will take some work to find them, but as long as you stay true to yourself and do your thing, those people may even find you. Please don’t ever minimize or change yourself to fit other people’s preferences. Taking that sort of action is a great way to end up with alot of resentment towards yourself.