I (27M) can’t tell if I’m being used by this girl (20F) that I’ve been seeing.

(I’m using mobile so please forgive my formatting)

I’ve been talking to and have been seeing this girl for a little over a month that I work with (please don’t give me shit for this). She recently got out of an abusive relationship she had with her ex probably 3 months ago. She followed me on instagram and DM’ed me and we pretty much hit it off immediately there. After a day or two we started flirting with each other a lot. We made plans to hang out one day, and it was an amazing day. The conversations, holding hands, had our first kiss. It felt like fireworks. It was so hard to say bye to each other. She told me how amazing I was and how much she loved being with me. We hung out at my house just about every day for almost 2 weeks. Watched movies in bed, laughed together, had dinner, held each other, had sex. Our feelings grew stronger and stronger, even telling me that she loved me.

She told me how much her feelings for me scared her because of how fast things happened, yet she was ok with it. She says she’s not used to a guy being so nice and treating her so well that she’s afraid it’ll drive her away going back to what she’s used to. To this day, I don’t really understand that. We continue to see each other and hang out but it’s become less and less frequent, and it gives me a terrible feeling. She uses the worst excuses to not hang out rather than her just saying she doesn’t want to hang out. I’ve noticed she doesn’t respond to texts as much as she used to either. I asked if she wanted me to give her space and time for herself, but she said no because she needs me and wants me.

One of the last couple of times she came over I noticed something was missing in my room (an extra phone charger I had). I thought “maybe she just grabbed it by mistake before she left”. So I asked her later if she might’ve grabbed something out of my room by mistake to which she said no. So I said “ok, no big deal, I must’ve misplaced it somewhere.” and just moved on. I wasn’t mad or pissed at her when I asked. The next day she ignored me the whole morning and wouldn’t talk to me. I had no idea what was going on. She eventually said she couldn’t believe that I would think that she stole something out of my room and she doesn’t know what she did for me to ever think that. She said it was a “slap to the face” and she couldn’t even look at me because she was so shocked and hurt that I would think she did that. I felt so fucking terrible for even asking her that question. Later on that day, we talked it out and apologized to each other and everything seemed fine after, but I feel she still resents me for asking her that question.

Recently, she said she wanted to “take a step back” because we kind of skipped the whole friendship stage and wants to make sure we do this right. I told her I understood, but said it would be kind of hard because of how much time and feelings we’ve invested in our short time together. Since then, nothing has changed. We still talk to each other every day, talk on the phone, FaceTime, hug, hold hands, kiss, say “I love you”, all of it. Even saying that she wanted to start a life with me soon. She says and does all of this while being kind of distant, but a little attached at the same time.

I asked her yesterday again if she needed time for herself, because of personal things going on in her life. She said no because she needs me. I also asked her if anything else was going on and she said no, but I keep getting this feeling that she’s hiding something more from me. Yesterday she told me she was going out with family and said she’d call me when she got home, but never did. She said she fell asleep when she got home, but it’s hard to believe at this point.

This has been some of the most confusing times of my life. I feel terrible waking up every morning and I feel terrible throughout the day. I try to communicate my feelings and concerns towards her when it comes to us. She’s not good at communicating and even admits it. She basically tries to suppress any issues there might be. I have no idea where to go from here or what to do at this point. I just can’t let go. She means the absolute world to me and my feelings for her have been so strong. More strong than any of my other relationships that I’ve had, as crazy as it sounds.

TL;DR: I’ve been seeing someone for a little over a month and it’s been an amazing time. Recently it feels like it’s starting to slowly crumble due to lack of communication. I feel like she might be hiding something, and I’m beginning to feel kind of used to help her get over her ex, or maybe just keeping me on the side.