He once told me that he doesn’t like sending good morning texts because he doesn’t want to be needy.. I usually get one back but I have to do it first. There’s days I won’t do it and he won’t text back until he sends me a meme. Today I texted him good morning and he replied “thanks” This is all fine not a big deal but I guess I don’t like the way he’s doing it on purpose? He told me a month or two ago that he likes getting good morning texts. I guess it’s not that he gets upset if I don’t but he wants me to. I hope that makes sense but I guess my question is, is this normal and I’m just overthinking? What should my next move be? Keep sending good morning texts?
Tl;dr My adult boyfriend refuses to send me good morning texts after 6 months to avoid being needy but still wants me to send him those texts
11 comments
You should communicate with him about this to find a balance that works for the both of you.
What do you mean that he expects you to? Has he told you that he expects you to text him in the morning? There is nothing in your post that suggests that.
Maybe he just isn’t the type of person who texts you good morning. If this is something you absolutely need and he just does not want to do it, then it is time to leave the relationship and find someone who will meet your needs.
are you dating my ex? /j
Some people just don’t like sending (or receiving, or having to reply to) good morning texts. It doesn’t mean he likes you any less.
You can continue to send them, but don’t expect a response.
He’s been upfront with you. Either accept it and stop pushing for him to do as you want to feel validated or find someone who will do the things in a relationship you like without being manipulated into doing so.
Do you really want good morning texts out of obligation? That seems like it will lead to resentment. If your relationship is good other than this issue you need to gauge how important this is to you. So you want the texts because you think it’s what is required in a relationship or because it would actually comfort you like a way to feed your love language. Once you determine why you feel a need for the good morning texts talk to your bf about it and if he ignores your reasoning then I think it’s a problem, but saying to good morning texts as a just because doesn’t seem unreasonable without a drive behind the expectation.
some people just arent types to greet in the morning.
People at my job obsess over people walking by without saying good morning, like literally bothers them and changes how they feel about people. Its literally not that serious at all.
I wouldnt want to be forced to say good morning either, whats next? mandatory good afternooons?
So does he expect you to or just not care in general? It’s hard to tell here.
I feel like good morning texts unnecessary and empty. I’m not really interested in texting unless you have something to actually say. It does feel a bit like you’re seeking validation, which can be needy.
You haven’t really offered any evidence that he expects you to send him good morning texts. From what you’ve written that feels like your expectation.
He told you he expects you to send it?
Some people, like myself, just use texting for short, important messages. I made that clear to my girlfriends right from the start. I always told them don’t expect much in the way of texts from me and I won’t expect much from you. I’m also too busy for more than one or two phone conversations per day. Mature people set expectations and boundaries and work within them.