As a shy person I believe I will never fit in a job.
In my last job I got this sarcastics comments and jokes about me being shy ( that made me so insecure bc those same ppl criticize other shy ppl, literally saying that they were stubborn or talking shit behind their back 💀). So now in my new job (just has been there for 3 weeks) I really tried to talk more to my co workers even went out with them (which I was very anxious about), I even try to participate more in their conversations by asking questions or just saying a comment, but I know I still dont talk a lot like them all do and tbh I would like to participate more but I dont know what to say most of the time, sometimes I dont even understand what is going on (mention ppl i dont know, old stories or jokes I cant understand) or Im to concentrated in my work that i dont pay attention to what they are saying etc. So yeah I know I have to “adapt” but is still not so easy and the thing that made me anxious today was that a co worker pointed out how shy I was (common stuff 💀) so despite my efforts the cycle repeats itself 🥴🔫.
Not matter how hard I try to be more social it seems that is still never enough compared to other people and makes me sad to think that my personality will always be an issue for ppl in any future job that I will have.
1 comment
So one of the things I’ve had to learn over time is workplaces have their own culture and you just plug into them. It’s not on you to fit perfectly. I had a job where some assholes mocked me relentlessly for my stutter and now I make double what they make and fit in fine where I am, so I hope they’re happy in their dumpster fire dead end job.
But when the environment is more neutral nobody (but you) can expect you to get inside jokes you weren’t around for. If you stay around a place long enough, you begin to set your own ones.
I’d argue there’s advantages to being shy at work that grow as your career progresses. Being shy makes you less likely to be the person to say something really offensive or otherwise mess up. And I’d reframe if you’re shy or perhaps you have good characteristics like being a good listener who lets other people talk. Those traits are often under-appreciated coming in the door but can be really valued over time.