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I’m relatively strong, tall, handsome, clever, and sometimes I have a way with words. But I’m deathly terrified…
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“No more McRib ads after this year”
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I don’t think it really matters what I say, when I whisper my voice gets a lot of bass in it, which I’m told can send waves through a woman.
So I’ll probably say something really stupid or funny in that really bassy whisper and see if the humor or horny wins out.
It feels so amazing to be in a crowd like this and have the most beautiful woman in this entire place sitting next to me. I can’t wait to get you home to wrap arms around you in private and tell you how much you mean to me
“You’re going to feel this belt tonight”
Kids aren’t home
“I cleaned the bathroom and put the laundry away…”
“Wanna go to Epcot?”
I’ll make fried chicken when we get home.
Or
When we get home, if you take off your bra, I’ll scratch you right where the straps rub.
“It’s free real estate”
I got a raise at work today
Pizza.
Can I lick that chocolate from your inner thigh tonight?
“Po-tay-toes! Boil ’em, mash ’em, stick ’em in a stew.”
“I’m going to cheat on you as soon as I bust this nut”
“I washed the dishes”
“Do you want to grab some Arby’s?”
Chicken pot noodle
“Omelet du fromage”
“Sea cucumber”
I just won the powerball!
“I’m forklift certified”
I am a very model of a modern major general…