Been on a successful First Date/talk through our feelings session with a Friend (we ended up kissing at a party last week). As we were walking back she asked my feelings about ‘us’, I said I was down to take the plunge and give it a go. She said (as she had during the date) that she had some things to think through, ie, enjoys my company and doesn’t want to ruin that if it doesn’t work out etc. We kissed and cuddled as we were parting ways. I haven’t messaged her yet, should I? Continue messaging as normal or should I let her do her thinking and get back to me? I’m an expect the worst and be pleasantly surprised kinda guy.
2 comments
She can think it over all she wants but at the end of the day, it’s about how she feels. If she doesn’t feel a certain type of way, then she isn’t about it.
The only other thing is that she might truly cherish your friendship and really doesn’t want to risk it because she would rather have you in her life (in any capacity) than risk you being out of her life completely. This is why the friend zone is hard to get out of unless she really is falling for you.
EDIT: I personally wouldn’t expect much from her moving forward, romantically speaking. But nothing wrong with casually hanging out (if she’s down) until she makes up her mind. This thing you have going on right now might be the most that you’ll get. That’s the mindset I would have.
I’d let some days pass and then try to bring things back to a casual good feel level and suggest a follow up date with some light fun activity, so that you can spend time together without it having to be too close and too intimate, keep some space to let things breathe. Something like go bowling, visit a zoo, an exhibition you both might be interested in,etc
But I am in the camp of people who expects the guy to put in the effort and ask me out if he is truly interested.
I can’t tell you though whether she already put you in the friend zone. It’s rather difficult to get out of it if you want to keep the friendship going.