People are talking to me and I wish they weren’t. Does anybody have some advice?

I’m sorry if this isn’t the sub, but I just couldn’t really think of any other place.

I’m (16M) a very work-directed kind of person. I used to be severely depressed, barely ever had any energy to get out of bed, let alone do something with my life. I managed to get better by keeping myself busy; learning new stuff, putting effort into my education, planning for my future, etc. I learned to believe in myself, to achieve goals, to be functional, and everyday I work hard enough I can feel myself becoming a bit happier.

I feel distressed when I’m not as “productive” as I feel I should be. I feel that my goals are straying away, that I’m losing my progress.

As an addition , I’m neurodivergent (Asperger’s), which makes me much more prone to social fatigue/overstimulation. I can have conversations and all, but even the smallest chat, unless it comes from someone that belongs to my “circle”, can leave me feeling mentally clogged, anxious and overstimulated.

In school, I’ve always been a bit of a loner. I was always by myself and I find it to be optimal. I have more time to work on myself to keep improving, which is what I want more than anything, not to mention I just feel more comfortable this way.

Lately, a group of people have been hanging with me, sitting on my table, having these conversations that go for hours– Everytime, I put a smile on and try to talk back, because if they take time out of their day to talk to me, I should at least be pleasant.

I don’t ever tell them I don’t feel like talking or that, as rude as this may sound, I don’t want them to hang with me, because 1.- I have a really hard time saying no to people, and 2.- I really appreciate what they’re doing. They’re just trying to be nice to the “lonely” kid– More even, they’re genuinely really great people, which makes this even harder.

So I always accept their company and try my best to engage in their chatting, though tiring it may be.

But I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep coming back home to crying and having panic attacks in my bedroom, can’t keep defering everything I worked so hard for, spending time that could be spent getting better and working harder on talking about a netflix show or school gossip. I can’t keep breaking my routines. I can’t keep coming home so exhausted I can’t even eat properly. I can’t keep overstimulating myself for the sake of it. I swear I could fill pages and pages of just how dire this whole situation is to me. They’re nice people, but I just can’t do this.

I feel so fucking useless and distressed, I just want them to ignore me and act like they can’t see me again.

I know it’s kind of ironic to come to r/socialskills asking for advice on how to be left *alone*, but I figured this is technically still a social issue.

​

I need some advice: How do I get people to leave me alone without being rude or making them feel bad? Thanks and sorry for bothering.

(I’m sorry if I made a mistake, this isn’t my first language)