My take:
I have a quick question you guys…. When my husbands friends and family members have come to visit previously I have always been really nice and welcoming. I engage in conversation and ask them about themselves and their families also just general conversations as well. Is it wrong to engage in conversation with these people? He seems to think I am too friendly and welcoming and that I shouldn’t be this way. I thought this is the way people treat each other, he thinks it’s too much and there has been a ton of contention between us. He says I should say hello and go about my business.
His take:
Every time I bring my wife around my friends or family she gives them the fuck me eyes. This had led to her smoking with them alone what would that mean?
4 comments
He wants you to talk to him with that kind of energy.
We all behave differently facing “outsiders” of the family
Being engaging is not “giving fuck-me” vibes. It’s just being nice.
Tell him the truth: “I can stop being genuinely how I am, but I thought you wanted someone who’s authentic, not phony.”
Whoa that took a big turn in the last paragraph.
Sometimes when we’re hanging out with newer friends or a friend’s spouse that we don’t really know my husband will ask a million questions and be super super interested in all aspects of their life. That’s just the way he is with any new people but it does leave me feeling a little bit ignored and a little bit sad that he doesn’t put so much energy into talking to me. But the thing is he already knows me so he doesn’t need to play 20 questions with me. Still I get the tiniest little bit of jealousy. I have only had an outburst about this issue once in our marriage and there was definitely alcohol and PMS involved lol.
It goes a long way if you take the time to reconnect with your husband while you’re having these conversations with other people. Sit next to him, make some contact once in awhile, turn and just give him some good eye contact, ask him something to let him get back in the conversation, just show him that you are still there for him.
It may also be that he just wants some space to socialize with his friends and family without you dominating the conversation. When my husband was first introduced to my friends and family he did all this but as the years go on he now gives me space to hang out with them and he’ll go chill in the other room once in a while.
So what…he wants you to act like a servant or subservient when company is over so he can enjoy himself and you do what, sit there and look pretty until someone needs a drink refill? What the fuck is his goal here
Edit: his take is excessively controlling. He gets jealous when he sees you independent, interacting with other people.