Ugh. I’m just frustrated because I keep getting these weird mixed messages from people about how and when I should have sex. I just want it to be over with. I literally wanted to have my first time with a random guy I met at school one night and we got to third base before he told me “i wAnT iT tO bE sPEcIaL.” Ruined the whole vibe. I looked at the man like what the fuck. I actually cried in my room later about it because I was so close. And it was the day before I turned 20. He treated me so special that night. I was having a good time, I never did anything sexual before that night and he refuses to have intercourse with me. And I actually worked up the courage in the first place to pursue this. I didn’t end up texting him again because out of that moment I realized he only looked at me to get off for the night. Like just tell me you want to hookup, don’t manipulate me like I’m your future girlfriend because you think that’s what I want to hear.
But anyways, everybody down the block calls me a prude and says I’m innocent and how their body count is 7. And then proceeds to tell me “I should save it for the right person.” And then other people just tell me to hookup with someone. And then tell me that they’d refuse to sleep with a virgin. Like huh?! And everyone just takes the piss out of me for being a virgin All. Of. The. Time. And I’m just sick of it and don’t know what to honestly do anymore. I never wanted to be a virgin at 20, let alone as a university student. And frankly, I always wanted a relationship before I had sex which is why I still haven’t. But now, I’m honestly just bored, lonely, and desperate for some kind of affection which is why I’m feeding into this crap. 16 year old me was strong.
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You’re still young and you have plenty of time, but you dodged a bullet cause as you pointed out he seems like a jerk. I hope you find someone that you can have fun with!
Well I’m sure these people’s body counts are exactly the number they say they are. Nobody would lie about that.
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Tune out the noise. I know it’s hard but this is truly a personal decision you have to make. I’m sure there will be a guy out there willing to be your first and it might just take some more time to find someone you trust to have sex with.
You are me- I was going to lose my virginity with someone who stopped when he realized I was a virgin because we had a friendship and he straight up said he wasn’t a good dude and didn’t feel comfortable. At the time, I felt so much negativity/shame but now I’m happy he stopped. I probably would have hated the way I lost it if it was with him. And I ended up losing my virginity at 20 and have no regrets.
End of the day, losing your virginity is and is not a thing. You control your feelings about your virginity.
Do you have any platonic friends who you’d be willing to have sex with? Can be a nice halfway house between romantic and not romantic
Female here. I lost my virginity a month before I turned 19. I was terrified of winding up pregnant because of the amount of kids my mom had. I’m aware there is no correlation. I just had anxiety about getting pregnant on accident even with contraceptives.
I got lucky and found a guy who I trusted and dated for a few months. I knew that if I wound up pregnant that he’d stay. But he did truly make it a great experience for me. I have never regretted giving him my virginity, even though we ended on pretty rough terms.
In my opinion if you arent attached to the idea of being “pure” and okay with not getting a a romantic scene from a movie. Then just find someone you have a decent time with, you arent obligated to inform them that you are a virgin. This is also assuming you can more then likely handle a one night stand. Most people say no to virgins because they aren’t interested in a relationship and virgins can be very clinging.
Or you can just keep waiting until you feel like you found someone that you trust wholeheartedly with this part of your body and mind.
There is no right or wrong answer. It’s about you being comfortable. Tell your friends to shove it there is nothing wrong with being smart about sex. STD testing can be a hassle, bc fail and can really rough on the body and babies are expensive.
Honestly, once it’s over, it’s kinda a relief.
I mentally built up the first time so much it prevented me from having relationships. I kept wanting a stupid fantasy instead of living in the moment.
As a guy, I wanted to be different and it not just be a fleeting encounter, but I waited and waited and before I knew it, I was in my mid twenties. And then, I lost my virginity in a truly comedic romcom fashion and I stopped worrying.
Losing it was the best thing even though it wasn’t special. I learned I can last a long time and I made the girl orgasm (by some miracle).
I was able to then focus on girls and really get to know them and not use them as a fantasy or put them on a pedestal. I was able to be present and just be me. I also learned I freaking love cuddling and making out and I can very much be like a horny teenager even though as a teenager I was as boring as it gets lol.
Don’t beat yourself up, but when it’s over, hopefully you’ll come out loving yourself a bit more.
Your first time doesn’t have to be some magic experience, mine sure wasn’t. It was with a friend, but I will tell you having sex with a friend I’d much better than a stranger, especially especially for your first time. When you are having sex for the first time you are exploring your sensuality, and I think being with someone familiar really helps with that. Drowning out insecurities with a friend instead of a stranger might be able to help you move on to others (casual hookups with strangers) in future. Of course this is your choice, and everything I stated it from my experience. Best of luck sweetheart ❤️
Come to Asia
You’re focusing so much on what other people think about whether you should/shouldn’t have sex like it’s your role to fit their expectations. Forget that noise. It literally doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. Not your friends, not some randos, nobody. Think about what YOU want about your sex/romance life and go after it. Don’t let people pressure you or give you crap about it.
You should have sex only when YOU are ready for it and when YOU want it (obviously the one you will do it with also needs to want it).
Fuck other people’s opinions on this!
eeehh, nowadays a lot of young people up to 25 and even 30 are virgins honestly. It feels bad to be lonely, but don’t let them make you feel like you’re doing something wrong, or “missed out on anything” or whatever.
There will be plenty of willing guys. Its a bit overrated. The first few times can be awkward, or overwhelming etc. but as you relax a d learn what you are doing it gets better and better. Id just find someone who’s willing to be gentle and caring and go for it.