Hi! I’m 28, my husband is 31. We’ve been married 6 years, we don’t have any kids.
Long story short, we are working on our sex life. My sex drive is much higher than his. We don’t have sex often at all right now.
I want more attention from him. I want him to initiate it more. I want it to be passionate and a little rough.
So I’m working on trying to get him really turned on for me.
Do you have any suggestions? I’ve given him a few blowjobs right before bed without letting him reciprocate. But I want to build the tension more. I want to make him really want me.
13 comments
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Have you tried edging him? And him the same to you, it builds incredible tension. Scheduled sex. When you know it’s definitely gonna happen the lead up, the tease is very fun. Tell him your fantasies, have an honest talk about your want for rougher sex. Consider having a free use policy. With permission wake him up with blowjobs, learn to deepthroat.Tell him bluntly how you desire him as a sex object and want to use his cock and fuck his brains out. Make him feel desired. Look into learning pompoir. I have a pussy of steel because of it and it can do very special things that keep him addicted. I also prefer quality over quantity so we have a scheduled fuckfest at the weekends and really spend alot of time being Intimate and talking as well as all the fucking. Maybe try dabbling in some BDSM.
I think one really powerful route with this is to try to find out what he really wants sexually. Like what are his biggest turnons and fantasies?
If he’s more the dominant type maybe try things like just offering to be his fuck maid for the day, tell him that he can give you any commands he likes and, if it’s inside your limits, you’ll do it for him. Get a beer, make a sandwich, suck him off etc.
If he’s more of a subby guy then yeah asking if you can have more control and taking him on a ride can be pretty fun.
And yeah then another thing is to share your fantasies with him. Like just talk about sex without expecting anything to happen immediately. Ultimately fantasizing together can be a really powerful way of getting into each other’s heads.
He might have low testosterone, or might just have a low sex drive. Sometimes there’s nothing you can do.
The only thing I can think of is try and find out his kinks and fantasies, and do them for him.
This is a tough one- I’ve been in the exact same situation.
I (30ish male) have an insane sex drive, and I love trying new things. I’m interested in all sorts of absolutely wild stuff I’m not going to list here for my own sake.
My wife however (30ish female) has not had many partners, doesn’t watch porn, wants meaningful romantic sex.
It takes time, but start by being open to him about your feelings. It has to start there. Let him know he doesn’t need to change over night, but that you need to start working toward a middle ground to satisfy your needs.
SLOWLY work toward that middle ground.
Schedule sex if you need to, that’s important. Set time aside that you can both commit to, and follow through with it. Make it something exciting to look forward to.
Slowly introduce things one at a time.
You might need to satisfy yourself for a long time too, but it doesn’t have to be secret or just yourself. I use a hismith machine or squat fuck massive dildos in the front room while my wife watches movies on the couch or does crafts all the time. When she’s in the mood, she comes over and joins in.
Sometimes, early in the day, I ask if she can spend a few minutes to help get me off at night. Whether that be running the machine or working a bottle of lube or just letting me feel her up in the shower while she gives me a hand job.
Everyone is a little different and you can’t force someone to change overnight. There’s always the possibility it is a clinical thing as well- low testosterone, something in his past that haunts him, etc…!
I feel like this is depends on him for me I’m a male 22 years old sometimes just seeing a sexy mature woman makes my cock dripping and I get so horny and wet even I had the same prob with my ex girlfriend I’m always horny and I want it so bad in bed so she can make this cock calm down but she’s always tired and not in the mood idk I feel like this is depend on the other partner for me I always wake up so wet with a hard cock I was wondering if that happens to him hmm 🤔
Giving him blowjobs and him not being allowed to reciprocate is literally going to achieve the opposite. You sexually satisfy him without allowing him to have sex with you.
If anything, give him a boner, and then do NOT give him a blowjob. Only allow him to cum inside of you.
Other ideas would also be walking around in lingerie or sexy outfits, or straight up naked
Without letting him reciprocate?
I don’t have it all figured out. In fact, you might have some insight on my recent post.
But it seems to me like your timeline and expectations for subtlety are off. I’m not saying they’re unreasonable, I’m just saying that as a guy he is at the very least confused.
If he wants to reciprocate that’s a great starting point.
Beyond that, you should plan on a low ROI. You want him to be a little dirty with you? Be a lot dirty with him. You want him to be a little dominant? Be very submissive.
If he has a nurse fetish (for example) you better be a nurse all day.
Hope this helps
How many hours a day do you and he spend at work, including commute?
You say you blow him just before going to sleep, but it is a well know fact that, for men, morning is a much better time for sex; Ever heard of Morning Wood?
This is so me but with my wife 😩
Have you tried asking him? Seems like a thing you both need to communicate and figure out
You need to communicate this directly to him.
Have him take a ryno pile.
Talk him into swinging. Never leave your hubby but get the opportunity to fulfill your needs. I have the same problem you have. It sucks😥