Personally I feel like I’m fantastic at putting on an act and making a great first impression on people with my humour and initial bubbly-ness but I really struggle to bring people closer than a surface level friendship. I mostly have the confidence to interact with people but I’m really lost when it comes to knowing how to build friendships overtime and KEEP them going when they tend to fizzle out after a while, and I’m left asking what other people seem to do right and I seem to do wrong. It’s kind of like I know how to ace the job interview but struggle with keeping the job. Does anybody else feel this way or have a different perspective?
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Yeah same here. People lately seem to come and go. I get close to people especially on dates see them three or four times. Then don’t hear back from them for sometime.
Well, why should people be your friend ? It cannot be because you are lonely and need attention. What are people going to get out of being friends with you ? Typically, people look for somebody who is confident, fun, interesting to be around, or adds some kind of positive energy or positive vibes. They deduce it from the way you act and carry yourself around them. There are verbal and nonverbal cues that you give off that show you are anxious, unconfident, worrying, overthinking, etc. and they subconsciously deduce you are not that positive person they want to hang out with. For example, being overly quiet and not participating or contributing in past social interactions you had with them. You need to practice putting yourself out there and talking to people in a confident manner.
Also, people naturally recognize, appreciate, and value you when there is something respectable about you, not when you are chasing and begging for their attention and validation. Do you have skills, talents, hobbies ? Can they impact people ? People subconsciously attach you to the value you bring.
damn did i write this post 😂
Honestly I’m scared I’ll never make an actual friend and feeling like giving up because I’m too old now (21) so maybe it’s better if I just have a lot of acquaintances idk
I think there is nothing wrong with you and it’s just certain periods of life we´re going through. I feel the exact same way and I´m still in college. I meet tons of new people but rarely does a true good friendship rise from any of it. I wish I could offer you advice but I can´t. But just letting you know you aren´t the only one with this conflicted feeling