I was recently unmatched by two women on MeetMe because I didn’t initiate a conversation with them first. I’ve always been that type because I’ve wasted my time trying to socialize with someone only to be ignored completely in the past.
The other woman who matched with me a few hours ago unmatched and blocked me I guess for not saying anything to her first.
Just thought I’d post this on here to see if anyone’s ever experienced that before
4 comments
So by trying not to be ignored, you ignored them?
If you are the second person to match, then it’s on you to start the convo, imo. But if you’re concerned about people not interacting with you and handling it by… not interacting with people… I’d say perhaps the problem is you.
It’s not necessarily rude. But it may make a woman suspect that you’re swiping “yes” on tons of women and not actually that interested in her.
It also suggests that, if the woman didn’t unmatch you because she’s a bit touchy about things (or having one of those days), then her interest in you was borderline because your profile could be better. When you didn’t send a message, that was enough to nudge her interest over into “no”. Whereas, if your profile had stood out to her more, she might have waited longer or *possibly* sent a message herself.
Dating & friend finding apps/sites have been extremely popular for several years, and at this point everyone is burnt out, bitter, hurt, and angry after too many negative experiences.
We’ve all matched with people who end up ignoring us, whether immediately or in a day or two. We’ve all felt insulted when we attempt to get to know someone, and they act disinterested. For women this is especially true, since most men send messages en mass to 50+ women at a time, not caring who they talk to, as long as it’s a female.
So everyone starts to develop more expectations about others, and simultaneously spend less and less effort themselves. Since you didn’t initiate, of course you got deleted; there are 49 other guys in their inboxes and some of them actually did initiate. These women either wanted to focus their energy on the people worth talking to, or they felt you were rude, because you didn’t perform your part of how they feel interactions should go.
I want to make clear that how they acted is normal. When you first meet someone irl and you introduce yourself, smile, and say hi… if they just said nothing and stared at you, you’d feel confused. But when you try to clarify who you are or extend another greeting to them, trying to start an interaction… if they were to just not give you anything to work with at all, you’d then start to feel angry and insulted. THIS is why things go so sideways online; everyone has a different perception of what’s happening.
So yes, this is normal, in 2022. You said yourself that you’ve tried in the past only to end up with wasted time, and so you adjusted your behaviour and didn’t try as hard this time. Le cycle continues.