I’m interested in bringing up free use to my husband. I want to have a better idea of things before I start the conversation. Please give any advice you have! I’m interested in PIV and possibly anal use if I “respond” well to anal touch (he knows what this means and the body language involved). I’m hoping to give him more chances to cum without worrying with foreplay, permission, or me having to put lots of mental energy into it. I’m very turned on by him using me to have a quick nut.
We have a busy family with 3 kids. The opportunities will be limited, but that’s okay. Any free users with busy families? How does it look for you?
I want lube to be used for that first insertion for PIV (or anytime anal happens). Do some of you regularly use lube for free use?
I completely trust him to respect me and my body. That’s not an issue, but boundaries and consent will still be discussed. Also- I have severe unmedicated ADHD, and remembering to use a free use necklace or any thing like that is not going to be effective with my strange brain. So any other tips around that? I’m wanting to be “open” pretty much any time we are alone (which isn’t often)
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Never used a necklace or any kind of aid. Generally speaking no lube either. I have done it via the conditioning route.
So my partner got used to the idea that if I was taking her pants off, it will be balls deep in a few seconds. So she got used to getting super wet when I take them off, and it would happen whether I did anything or not after a while.
With regards to the kids are most likely not going to be a problem if your partner respects you well enough.
Yes, unless you’re just super wet all the time, use lube. We use a colored hair tie to signify oh this means that. So you can decide what object to use to let your partner know that it’s on.
We use coconut oil, it works for us.
So I’ve discussed free use with u/LostAd6009 recently. Free use is something I brought up and offered, not him.
We haven’t discussed lube, because frankly that’s unlikely to be a problem with my body. We haven’t actually enacted free use (or he hasn’t had the chance to take advantage of it) but he knows my body’s triggers (or at least some of them). Him gripping my hair in a fist or him pinning me down by the throat (or pinning my wrists down on the bed) is going to pretty much get me instantly wet. I trust him to take the steps necessary to not bring harm to my body (so for anal, that would either be lube or getting me wet and using my natural lube).
As for boundaries, the only real boundary around free use is going to be that I don’t want vaginal or anal while I’m on my period.
We don’t do the “free use” thing, but we do use lube in various ways.
Coconut is probably the best all-around, but it’s kind of a pain where we live because it’s solid at room temperature most of the year.
Grapeseed oil works pretty well as it’s not quite as slippery as Coconut, but it’s liquid at room temperature, and it doesn’t stain as much as Coconut. It absorbs/evaporates a little faster, but not as bad as water based lubes.
We have a hybrid lube we use on anal toys as it lasts longer than either.