Helping a straight male friend in a big East Coast city get into online dating, and trying to figure out what the best platform for him to not get ripped to shreds. He’s looking for a long term relationship. Late 30s, PhD educated, socially awkward and not physically attractive, incredibly kind and caring, financially stable, great listener and emotionally intelligent.
23 comments
All of the apps he can try. It’s going to come down to your area and which apps are popular there.
Also get him out meeting people in person. That’s his best bet on meeting dates vs the apps.
There are no apps for you. Stick to your social circle to get you into contact with women.
Don’t ruin this man with a brain on apps. He should meet people he can see & read in real life. Also, is he in Canada? I’d be interested. Thanks
I don’t why when I read “intellectual” on the title I was expecting a “I’m very smart” type post typical of Reddit.
Work on getting more attractive/demonstrating more attractiveness
hmmm… people who are emotionally intelligent usually are not socially awkward. I would say instead of throwing him to the lions on OLD how about helping him to work on his social skills? because if he is socially awkward, then even if he gets a date out of it, it will be probably a disaster. Advise him to sign up for some classes where he can shine with his intelligence and knowledge and meet women (language or creative writing would be perfect, the ratio is usually great for men). his best chances are in academia, liberal arts, social sciences, etc (ratio again). also maybe he can use a slight makeover: a new haircut, trendier and more flattering clothes… good luck to both of you
Speed dating? They have events for working professionals and he’s in the ideal age range/demographic. There’s usually a shortage of men at those things.
LinkedIn
Bumble, hinge, coffee meets bagel. That’s about it.
None.
Don’t do the apps. Do some meetups, like board game nights, hikes, or whatever.
How unattractive are we talking here? Are you a human troll? I bet you’re being to harsh on yourself and no doubt your just a normal looking man:). You sound like a catch to me!
up to a certain point attractiveness is about taking care of yourself,a spf facial moisturizer in the morning and moisturizer in evening, dressing how you want to display yourself, this helps creates a natural confidence. the rest is just meeting people. try in person events too because online can be a drag, you can do social groups although if you do a more general and not single focused social events dont be the guy there who everyone knows is looking for one thing.
Coffee meets Bagel is the best app for you. Though I don’t understand why you think it’s intellectual to claim you’re helping a friend
Do you know any people size woodchippers? That’s his safest bet.
Get him on Facebook. Tell him to look through his friends of friends and get back to you on who he is interested in and then find out if they are single and play match maker.
Don’t poison him with dating apps.
33F who’s had a lot of success (in terms of matches and meet ups) on Hinge, Tinder, Bumble, etc. with both guys and girls (and tend to find a good amount of them attractive). My friend convinced me to try eHarmony back in January and I couldn’t find a single person I was physically attracted to on there. I’ve taken a break from dating unless I meet people irl so I agree with that recommendation but would also say eHarmony might be worth looking into if your friend is set on OLD.
Plenty of attractive women out here *looking* for the less attractive men honestly. My experience with good looking men has been fucking terrible. He might not do as poorly as you think he will. Help him take some decent pictures and put together an interesting bio. Some of us are super attracted to educated and interesting men. Also, if he’s in Florida send him my way. Thanks.
My recommendation is your friend should no longer have you as a friend!! Friends won’t try to help in a relationship situation, say positive things about them but also add in that the person is not physically attractive. Who are you to judge?!! This post should be under another topic so you can see if more people other than me would say YTA!
I don’t know why so many people are advising against trying apps. There are unattractive women on apps too. Give it a shot, but he’s gotta be realistic.
Go for posting in r4r subreddits instead. They’re much less torturous than OLD apps.
Just don’t try bro. It’s a losing game with apps for guys like us
Wdym he is unattractive? There is only one attribute in male attractiveness that cannot be altered. Rest all can be.