Hey guys, typical question I’m sure is asked too many times.
So I’ve (26m) been single for a few months now, and I’m ready to try and date again. I’ve tried dating apps but I either just don’t get likes or the interest seems to just fall off on either end soon after first making contact. All together rarely leads to dates.
I want to try and go out and meet people in person as I’m pretty tired of the same cycle with the apps. Only problem is that I’ve never been great at making that first step because I don’t want to come off as creepy or I convince my self I don’t have a chance anyway. I don’t think I’m a bad looking guy maybe a 7/10 on a good day, but I just lack that self confidence I always hear that woman want. I never really had experience with hitting on girls or anything, as most of my dating started over the internet or phone.
So I guess I’m just asking if how to make that first leap into trying to talk to someone? What do I say? Where do I meet people? How will I know if they’re interested in me? I know it sounds sad but I’m just lost at the moment.
12 comments
I tried interpretative dance once and scored. The nurse said I looked like I was having a seizure and gave me mouth to mouth.
It counts
You can meet women anywhere doing regular daily task. Grocery store, gas station, the park, etc. talk about something in your current environment. Keep the convo short and simple. Ask to exchange numbers to hangout sometime and that’s it
What I do.
I see a girl I find attractive. I’ll make eye contact and smile (this usually tells you if they’re interested or not). Once that passes, hold eye contact for bit. If she’s smiling back, I approach. I keep it short, playful, and flirty. Literally just “hey saw you, thought you were absolutely gorgeous and I just had to come say hi.” All smiling and being playful.
It’s important to keep yourself detached from the outcome. It’s the fear of failure and rejection that can really get us. Remember, she’s human like you and just as nervous. Sometimes, if I’m feeling really nervous, I’ll tell them. It shows your humanity and humility and it’s humbling. Then just ask. The worst you’ll get is a no. Even then, you’ll
Be more confident. Just have fun with it. Flirt, smile, wink. Be James Bond
Meet anywhere. Practice this, every girl you find attractive, say hi. You don’t have to ask for her number, but just say hi. It will then become second nature.
Very simple, you talk and say that you would like to know her more, if she responds positively ask so what’s your number
I wonder the same thing on where to meet people. Me (35F) have been on/off dating apps/sites for years and it’s all the same BS in my opinion. Just ask a woman for her number. Worse that can happen is she says “No” or “I have a bf”. Don’t let that stop you babes. Xoxo
You’re really overthinking this dude. Most girls respect the balls it takes to just walk up to them and say something. I’ve also seen posts on here where girls are just wondering what they need to do to be approached. So don’t assume they’re not interested.
It’s also incredibly painless, basically the worst thing that happens is they hate you. Which considering you never knew the person, is not a big deal, who cares.
Also, the confidence thing…idk this isn’t something you can work on…you have to believe in yourself; it’s nothing else than that. You have to believe you can do it. You have to believe she would be attracted to you. You have to believe you’re worth it. You have to believe that you’re better than whatever rejection she might throw at you.
You have to internalize that you deserve the things that you want because you as an individual are valid in your own right.
It’s pretty easy…”hey, can I take you to dinner tomorrow night?”
Smile and ask for a coffee date. “Wanna grab some coffee sometime?”
If she says yes
Then say cool “wanna exchange numbers?”
Same boat have a hard time meeting men but I would just suggest saying hi and comment on the weather outside
Word of advise, don’t be overly confident! It can come off as cockiness and might make you look like a player. Just be playful and casual like the guys have mentioned. Best of luck!! 🙏🏼
I am in the same boat bud. I have good luck on the apps, and it’s kind of a crutch. But there is this ADORABLE woman who works at the gas station I get coffee at. The ONLY thing I know is to take rejection like a CHAMP. It’s truly no big deal if she has a boyfriend or is not interested. Just MAN up, ask her out and if she says “No” politely say something that makes her feel good about her choice. “Alright, you have a good day.” Or “Oh, you have a boyfriend, what a lucky guy.” And Move On.
There are thousands of beautiful women out there. One of them would be happy to have your company. THAT’S “the one” you are looking for. Good luck! Wish me luck and I hope you find what you’re looking for.
Problem is you have to have that confidence otherwise it’d be creepy. Best way is to not get stuck on the fact you are chatting up woman cause if you let this emotion rule it will be creepy. Just get to know her as you would a dude. After a while you can also talk about something less innocent and that usually does the trick if she is interested. Then if she is okay with cuddling on first date, especially if you are alone somewhere like bench in park and you talk about spicy topics it’s good point to try to move in for a kiss or better yet ask her, depends on woman some find asking a bit turn off others are of mind you should ask, hence why they are so confusing, never just move in though, give indication what you are going to try and give her a moment to back out if you misinterpreted sth . If she agrees to go to your place, then it’s even more of obvious she likes you. Still all above applies. Don’t move to fast. Nor too slow.