My bf feels triggered by his ex.
He (M20) doesnt want to look at her profile, he doesnt want to see her anywhere. When i (F19) ask him why is that, he says he has gone through bad stuff. i know that they broke up in good terms, so i dont understand why he feels that way. when i ask him about this, he says that he doesnt feel comfortable talking about this and he doesnt feel like he need to talk about everything happened between them and dont think this is healthy. i know my bf loves me. should i be ok with him not wanting to talk about it?
TLDR: My bf doesnt like talking about his ex
5 comments
Are you his therapist? No? Then butt out. If he feels traumatised about something, he has the absolute right to not discuss it with someone who clearly doesn’t have a grasp of the situation.
Don’t try to push the conversation but please stay aware of this person – your gut is feeling you something so stay alert when she does come up
Yep it’s alright for him to not want to talk about his ex specifically with you.
>should i be ok with him not wanting to talk about it?
You don’t have much of a choice. Having healthy boundaries means respecting that people have a right to choose how they’re willing to engage with you, and be treated by you.
It’s not your place to force it out of him. If you don’t like being with someone who doesn’t divulge their trauma trauma you, look for someone else. No one has a right to hear that, not even you. It’s okay if you don’t like it or it makes you uncomfortable that he isn’t as open as you want him to be, but that means you move on instead of trying to get him to talk. Its not your business to be involved in his recovery.