Soo I’m a 23F and I recently had sex with my situationship 29M. I had to travel for a month or so to get some shit done but I’ll be back soon and we’ll start hanging out again. We’ve been texting on and off since we’re both super busy people and the time difference makes it harder for us to communicate everyday but we still try to do it. We’re both into each other but it’s still only a situationship.
I never told him I was a virgin because I felt like my virginity is mine so why should he know? (Maybe in the future if we become a couple sure I might tell him but I didn’t consider now). However, when I was going through this Reddit page I saw a lot of people telling others that this is their first time and so forth. My friends were even shocked that I didn’t mention it to him. I wasn’t really waiting for a special person to lose it to I’m just a super picky person that gets easily disgusted (not the right word but I get turned off easily basically).
My question is, why should I tell him before even being in a relationship? I don’t know I honestly never considered it but people called me stupid for not telling him and that made me feel weird. What do you guys think? I don’t want him to feel bad and think he has to be with me because of it. That’ll feel like I trapped him.
Tell me your opinions!
12 comments
No way you’re not being stupid! I did the exact same thing and I’d do it again. He never knew and we dated for a while and I never told him because it was Never something I felt had to be shared.
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I wouldnt say its stupid at all especially if he never asked about it. But I do have a question, did he ever ask you sexual questions before hand such as what positions you enjoy?
Yes she knew, she also knew of my past trauma and wanted to help me through it. It kinda worked? She was patient, kind and sweet, exactly what I needed. There’s still elements of sex I’m uncomfortable with, but hey! Nothing and nobody is perfect!.
Not sure why people think they need to share this info…
Yes I did. It helped relieve the pressure.
Didn’t really need to come out and say it directly, she kinda already knew because she knew that she was my second girlfriend and the first girlfriend was too scared of sex to do anything with me.
She didn’t say so directly, either, but made it pretty clear in admitting how inexperienced she was and wanting to explore things in turn with me for the first time.
>Maybe in the future if we become a couple sure I might tell him
Way too late for that. Even telling him before becoming a couple would be a bit too late now.
>My question is, why should I tell him before even being in a relationship?
Honesty, open communication, clear expectations.
>I don’t want him to feel bad and think he has to be with me because of it. That’ll feel like I trapped him.
That would be a good reason why not to play gotcha with it, yeah.
I did but just because I was super nervous. him knowing that it was my first time made out so that he was gentler and more attentative. It helped me!
Well you’re free to disclose it or not. I told the guy I first had sex with I was a virgin, it so happened that he was as well, but either way I prefer honesty generally.
Yes I told her, either on out first date or in our online chat before that. I think she was excited about it, she knew the honor was hers to do something with me I had been wanting and imagining to do for a long time. She knew I was going to be very excited. And I was shy af. I didn’t even realise why she took me to her appartment and why she was sitting so close against me to show pictures of her cat while the cat was literary right there next to us. It took me half an hour to realise and carefully ask her if maybe she wanted me to kiss her. It was both funny and exciting.
Yes I told her and I am glad I did because it excited both of us.
It would excite me too to be someones first.
I told her mid coitus. After she asked me “why did you tell me that?” I guess she didn’t really want to be responsible for that information.
I was 22 when I lost my virginity. I told a girl I was seeing and that really turned her on and that night she happily took my v card