I am here to ask for any tips or advice any of you maybe have for me. I have social anxiety and I’m looking to get a job. I am asking for any advice you have on the social aspects that come with this including the interview, socializing with co-workers or the boss, interacting with customers and anything else that may come up. Thank you.
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This is a LOT, but it’s what I’ve learned! Maybe some of it’ll be useful.
**Interviews:**
* Google common interview questions (like “why do you want to work here?”) and give them some thought ahead of time. NEVER say anything like “I just need a job.”
* Don’t overshare, but answer honestly in such a way that something positive is highlighted. EX. “what are your weaknesses?” Don’t just say you have social anxiety. Say you can be a bit shy but you’re working to overcome that. Tell them what you’ve learned about your weaknesses, what progress you’ve made, or how you think you can work around them.
* Be realistic with questions like “what would you do if you were in the middle of a task and a customer interrupted you to ask for help?” Don’t just answer *I’d help them immediately.* A stronger answer is something like *It depends on the task. I’d let them know I’ll be just a moment, then finish whatever can’t be interrupted, and put it aside for later.*
* Smile & make eye contact with everyone present; very important for panel interviews.
* Dress well.
**Customers + work:**
* It may take some time for you to learn this for yourself, but NEVER go at a pace that’s too fast for you. Intentionally slowing yourself down to a manageable pace will help to prevent panicking, which will minimize mistakes, which will build your confidence in yourself.
* Mistakes are ok!!! You’ll get better in time. A good boss will be understanding and even expect some mistakes at first.
* If you can’t do something for a customer, and it’s out of your control (ie the restaurant ran out of coffee, there are no clean tables atm and they’ll have to wait 20 min…), decide for yourself that you won’t bear the customer’s anger as a reflection on you. The line will always we out the door, people will always have to wait, somebody will always be upset. There is no magic strategy or thing you can say that’ll let you prevent people from ever being angry with you. And that’s ok. The fear comes from worrying if they’ll get you fired, and 9.9/10 times you will *not* be fired or in trouble with your boss, because after your probation, employers *really* don’t like firing people due to the high cost of training turnover. Especially if you can explain what happened & why.
* You’ll feel the most able to handle yourself the more you know about your job/products/services as possible. Memorize the menu, learn how long things take to make, etc.
* Don’t demand too much of yourself too quickly; it takes time to build up that knowledge. If you’re comfortable with your job in 3 months, great. If it takes 6, great. If it takes a year, great. Because it also highly depends on your previous work experience, life experience, whether you’re part time or full time, and level of responsibility/skill requirements of the job itself.
**Coworkers + bosses:**
* Develop a social mask: stay neutral. Don’t gossip. Stay positive, polite, and slightly distant.
* Friendships can happen and that’s great, but personally I prefer to keep everyone at arms length unless I’ve known them a long time. Helps avoid being blindsided by workplace bullying.
* Handling conflicts: Document everything. Keep emails, and write down any events that feel off in a private journal at home.
* Usually the only real challenge you’ll find are people testing your boundaries. They’ll crack jokes at your expense, and you have to figure out how to react in good humour.. while also not let people walk on you or frame you as weak/stupid.
* Don’t take on more than your fair share of work without being asked. Some people will take advantage of this; other times, your coworkers will get angry because they think you’re making them look bad.
One last note: when training, sometimes you’ll get 5 different answers to the exact same question. Writing everything down can help a lot– especially so you can relay to your boss/trainer aaaaaaaaaaaaaall the different ways you’ve been taught to do something as evidence of why you’re confused. Make sure you DON’T tell who said what.
And, everyone has their own way to do certain things. There are 50 billion ways to count coins, for instance. Learn what doesn’t matter, and what actually does have to be done a certain way. Nod and smile for the former, then do it whatever way feels most comfortable to you.