M(26) broke up with my long-term(3yrs) GF three months ago because she found someone, her so-called “soulmate” online.

23 comments

1. Among the apps you posted, all I can recommend are Goodnight and Hinge. Tried using both, and all are going smoothly.

   Goodnight – Was surprised this app was free and easy to use, I honestly haven’t paid a single dough just to continue using the app. No video calls or sending photos that other people don’t like. I like it tho, especially since they ditched the swiping method that most applications have.

   Hinge – Good feature and by far satisfied with what I’m getting. The only downside I think is that you can only like a handful of profiles /day without actually paying. Also, you can see who liked you without paying for anything which is something I really like about it, unlike other dating apps.

   I have the same pain point: Tinder has become the gateway to 3rd party apps used for scams &people who ask you to sign up to their only fans. I got banned last month for reporting those accounts. Also, misleading gay man accounts are showing up despite my filters NOT including such a thing. I block it, and the same account shows up a few days later. Platinum account was a waste of money. I did read their ToS. In fact, I did not violate any ToS but no explanation from their scripted support.

   Nonetheless, enjoy, review, and search for the apps you’ll use since not all apps are scams.

2. Will recommend Vox but the app needs improvement. There should be an option to choose what gender profiles you want to see and there should also be language preference? Most of the people I talked to speak Russian, which I don’t speak.

3. Bumble & Vox – friendly reminder: You could definitely find a good person on a dating app though they’re few and far between. It never hurts to do it on the side to widen your potential dating pool. Just don’t expect too much from it and don’t overthink it.

4. I use OkCupid and have looked at Hinge but haven’t created a profile there yet.

   It’s just that I’m so happy being single that I can’t imagine entering into long-term relationship with anyone, so I just take time to meet people both online and offline.

5. I like the women I can meet at farmers markets, book stores, tea shops, home depot’s gardening department. Always checking out the event calendars of stuff happening in the neighboring towns too. I have a date at a murder mystery dinner theater on the 17th.

6. tried using goodnight – honest review it’s not that bad. Hoping a lot of people will create more app like this that isn’t based on swiping methods. I had some bad experiences with tinder and bumble mostly matching with catfish and fake profiles. Not saying the app doesn’t work but just stay on guard and be sure to not get fooled OP

7. Tinder, I hardly get anything out of it save for crippling depression. MAYBE 1 match a month, and they usually just don’t bother replying. Of the ones that do reply, very few of them will reply a second time. I literally don’t even get scammers or OF girls, which is somehow more depressing.

   Hinge I’ve got nothing, 0, nada. At some point I just stopped actually commenting on profiles because it wasn’t worth typing out some elaborate well-thought-out message just to validate these people

8. Used bumble years ago before meeting my wife at work. Dating apps are good (but not all) for meeting people and having a casual conversation but I don’t really believe that you can actually find someone looking for something steady there.

9. Hinge is by far the best imo, as long as you’re witty/funny and not just looking to hook up.

10. Dating to find someone to help you cope is brutal. What you want is mental health support, which is a mixture of friends and therapy. Dating is the opposite of helpful right now, if you’re struggling and feeling vulnerable then don’t wade into rejection waters – that’s a mixture of emotionally selfish and self sabotage.

11. All I can say is

    Pros:
    Convenient and easier for people who aren’t that confident talking to strangers IRL. You can easily find someone to talk to and just have a casual conversation.
    Cons:
    Shallow criteria, harder to get a feel of the chemistry via text, makes everyone seem replaceable and sometimes unreal. A lot of catfish (especially apps with swiping methods and just photos and chats)

12. I’ve never even heard of goodnight

13. Take time and heal.

    Sorry this happened to you.

    Online is a fucking shit show. COVID made it worse seemingly.

14. Go to surviving infidelity. Com. She is in the “affair fog” . Save yourself and your sanity. Block her

15. Hinge is great! I met my fiancé two years ago off hinge! However if you’re just looking to strike up conversation, maybe try your book store or hobby lobby.

16. Hinge is 🔥 will always go for this one instead of Tinder.

17. I’ll preface my comment by saying I haven’t been single for a while. But I think the best thing you can do if you want to get back in the dating world is this: do what makes you happy.

    This method will always yield much better results than dating apps. Go out and do shit you like doing, whatever that is. Join clubs for it, Facebook groups, whatever. Go to meetings not for the purpose of meeting women, but for having fun. Make connections. You’ll either end up meeting women you are attracted to and have a lot in common with, or meeting friends who may have friends who are women that may be interested.

    Obviously don’t use people to get laid, actually make friends you vibe with. If they happen to be someone you’re attracted to, or happen to know someone you could be attracted to, then there you go, but if not you still have a friend.

    Also, whenever your friends either old or new ask you to hang out, for the time period say yes to everything. Get out of your comfort zone and live a little. You’ll make so many memories, good and bad, and eventually this heartbreak will be a distant memory moved into the archives to make room for all the exciting shit that will be on your mind.

18. >M(26) broke up with my long-term(3yrs) GF

    Why were you dating a 3-year-old?! 😧

19. Just got on after a couple years. here in bay area California, it’s worse. I am a good looking dude in my 20s. No problems with meeting people irl. I’ll get little to no matches and at least 70% of em have either asked join OF or were blatantly selling pussy and hoe shit

20. Isn’t limerence just the most wonderful thing ever?

    Have you researched emotional affairs and the phenomenon of limerence? If not, consider doing so.

21. I think it’s better to take time in healing yourself first, I heavily relied on tinder and whatever dating apps is there before and none were a success and imagining the state of those dating apps now after covid, after OF gained lots of publicity, and the impossible expectations some girls have is just a whole shit show

22. Damn

23. I’m 40 just getting out of a ltr I was quite depressed over the prospect of starting again at this age. But it’s going well so far.

    I found signing up for quite a few different apps was the way to go. Bumble or hinge was suppose to be the better pick where I live and I haven’t talked to a single girl yet on these. 1 day on pof got me quite a few conversations and a date lined up. This site is also terrible compared to the others. But it just happened to be where the poeple I mesh with were found.

    Be honest on these though. Good pictures help immensely don’t have fish, dead animals or your truck on your profile and make sure the images are actually representative of you. Don’t find that perfect angle or one off photo that doesn’t look like you in real life or nothing is progressing for you in real life when you meet up.