Hi, I’m a 19yo guy who broke up recently with my now ex gf(23) I won’t go into details but I didn’t feel like I was in the right place and not so happy, I don’t know if it’s worth mentioning or not but recently i have been struggling quite a lot with my mental health aswell.i had doubts in the relationship for a while but i wasnt sure what to do, eventually I decided it was probably better to end things here before it goes along for too long and after years i realise that nothing was there, i think it would have been much worse for her. Since the break up was quite sudden and nothing really built up to it it felt really bad for her(we dated for around 6months), she was and is deeply in love with me, and said after about 2months that she qanted to marry me and i was the last guy she would ever love.We are long distance, and when she came to visit left a lot of her stuff here which I’m not quite sure what to do with either. I feel so shit about breaking up with her because of the way she feels, she constantly mentions to her insta that she is loosing herself and that the dude she was so sure she was gonna spend the rest of her life with doesn’t want her anymore, and telling me that her friends were right about me etc… and sometimes she just message me that she still loves me and feels pathetic for messaging me Not a day goes by when I don’t feel like an asshole… but I think I did the right thing because I don’t miss her but I do think of how she feels a lot. Do y’all gave any advice on how I could make it easier on her and easier on myself aswell? Or is it really just time?..Anything would help… maybe this is selfish but it feels really exhausting for me 🙁 I’ve already blocked her on multiple platforms, thanks I’m advance and thanks for taking the time to read, I appreciate it
4 comments
1. She’s too old for you
2. Good job with blocking her. Don’t run back to her
3. It’s better to work on your mental health alone
I am sorry you are going through this. Unfortunately, girls these days have very low self esteem and try to find self-love in their boyfriends, which puts way too much pressure in the guys. That said, it’s not good for her to be with people who don’t want to be with her, so she’s not doing herself any favors. Also, she is clearly trying to manipulate you and if you fall for that, you guys are building a toxic relationship.
You can’t fix her. You may have a talk or send an audio, etc. telling her that you really don’t to date right now, you are at an age in which you have to figure yourself out and it’s not fair for either one of you to keep it going. If she keeps acting up you will have to block her.
Next time you date, be friends FIRST. Don’t jump into bf/gf immediately. That destroys all the involved. And don’t get into the physical stuff. Take things SLOW. Good luck!
So there is nothing to make it better for her? And for me? It’s really just time?
So I’m the girlfriend. Yes I love him and he broke my heart because he left me without giving me a single hint about what he truly was feeling and before he decided to break up I went to his flat in france and everything seemed fine and normal so I had no time to elaborate.
Before calling me a toxic gf try to give the full story Arthur.
Should I remember you were the first one who confessed and first told me I was your soulmate?
[23/4, 21:35] Arthur: And your personality is worth even more babe, you are soooo nice, sweet, caring ,I love every second we spend together and I cherish them because I am blessed that you share your time with me
[24/4, 15:20] Arthur: If you died tomorrow, the one thing I wished I told you would be that I’ve never felt this way about anyone, I am so obsessed with you and love you so much, every part of you, I actually believe deep down that you are my soulmate and I would do anything to be with you.. this might be too soon to tell you but as you know I need to say these things and it’s okay you don’t have to say it back hahahaha, I’m just letting you know how I feel and what you mean to me, I live you baby ❤
[24/4, 16:35] Arthur: Believe it or not, I feel like if you did in fact die tomorrow, I would never be able to love again, just because I wouldn’t be able to give up on you even in death
[10/5, 01:36] Arthur: I only want you and your attention for myself
[26/5, 00:01] Arthur: Also no, I’m too jealous to share you. But you convince me everyday more and more that you only want me so now I trust you a lot ^^
[28/5, 00:35] Arthur: I’m so lucky to have you, I got lucky enough to have a crazy loving girlfriend with a pervy mind like mine that can listen and understand when it’s important, comfort me and reassure me when I need it, pulled me out of a dark place to make me happy again, I feel like the happy child me has been brought back 🙂 sure I will still get sad sometimes lazy and depressed but now I also have happiness hehe, and not just from food anime and my one friend
[28/5, 00:45] Arthur: I know I said this before but I still can’t understand how you like me soo much, you’re super crazy fun and interesting, loads of fun to be around but I’m just shy guy how likes anime and games xD
[8/6, 20:49] Arthur: But I can tell you I definitely feel different with you than with my ex. I have so much more fun with you.. and I’m really scared of loosing you, or making you unhappy.. your happiness is like my top priority right now I would say.. sorry for saying all of this I just wanted to be 100% truthful with all my feelings to not deceive you in any way
[9/6, 01:41] Arthur: You can’t leave me. It’s decided, too late to change your mind. I love you so so so much and I’m blessed to have you in my life. I know I say it often but I just think of it all the time and I want to say nice things to you. So babe I love you soooo much. And I miss you just as much, so don’t think of other boys or leaving me even if that’s toxic and have good dreams and good rest. (I know you are not planning to leave but just saying😝) I really want to spend my life with you. And I’ll find you in the next
[12/6, 00:10] Arthur: So basically I’m pretty scared because I realised recently just how much you meant to me, and I’m scared of literally everything… because I feel like if I do something really bad or wrong you will end up leaving and then I’ll be miserable, I know you don’t have any intentions of leaving at least not right now ehehe, but im scared of giving you a reason to… I’m scared of loving you tooo hard that it gets annoying, I’m scared ill be too clingy and you will want space, I’m scared I talk about my insecurities too much and it will annoy you, I’m scared I’ll overthink too much and you’ll be annoyed, I’m scared I’ll repeat myself and overshare and it will be tedious for you, scared you will be annoyed cose i apologise too much…. anyways you get the point sooo, just need to get used to this.. and I hope you’re okay with it. I don’t really know what to do with my self ..
[16/7, 15:16] Arthur: Also the thing for yesterday, I don’t really want comfort for it but basically as you know I’m pretty insecure and not so confident so when people say you deserve better it hurts ehe, and also I feel like a make a lot of people awkward, when I’m with you I feel like everyone is awkward because I’m there, and it feels like it’s because they all like you and they are like “oh she has a boyfriend”😅
[19/7, 00:19] Arthur: Cose u the cutest cutie and you are always amazing, you try your best and really care about people and I just love everything about you
[19/8, 19:32] Arthur: It feels empty when you not here
[21/8, 03:24] Arthur: I want u back
[2/9, 22:26] Arthur: You are like my favorite person
[2/9, 22:26] Arthur: If I could spend time with anyone I would spend it with you
[6/9, 14:02] Arthur: Can’t have a kid tho, he gonna have all your attention
This is why I fell so much. Just words I guess.
Don’t blame me.
Accept the consequences of your own actions because you know you kept on deceiving me everything was fine and your love for me was so big and then on 11 October decided to give me the bomb.
Accept consequences of your own actions.
I don’t like being called toxic when I’m not. Should I remember we fought because you refused to treat your depression and told me you were fine with it? When clearly you weren’t?