So after reading the “What’s up?” thread, I’m wondering what other unwritten rules are there around social media? For those of us who remember a time before Web 2.0 and not use modern apps much, I think trying to befriend people online can sometimes feel slightly nerve-racking. It feels like the internet now has its own rules now and it doesn’t always follow the same social norms as the ‘real’ world does. Can anyone think of any helpful examples of online do’s and don’ts?
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If somebody isn’t talking or texting you back for whatever reason, don’t keep messaging them. Don’t message them things like “I hope I am not bothering you” or “sorry if I am bothering you”. Don’t text a long paragraph about how emotionally affected you are in response to them not texting you. Simply put, never ever beg or chase somebody to respond to you. It doesn’t work. People see exactly what you are doing, and they will be less inclined to respond to you and label you as needy, clingy, and desperate. They will subconsciously deduce you are lonely, obsessed with them, and possibly into them as more than friends. In short, they lose respect for you. People are hardwired to be repulsed by people who are needy, clingy, and desperate for attention and validation. Instead, people gravitate towards somebody who is self confident, brings positive energy and vibes, and is well rounded enough to not depend on their attention or validation.
Friendships are not codependent relationships. Just as people have other things going on in life, so should you. Also, People make time and effort for whom they want to make time and effort for. People start to naturally recognize, value, and appreciate you when there is something respectable about you. It doesn’t happen when you chase and beg. If anything, chase excellence, not people !
1) Don’t like someone’s old pictures from 2014.
2) If you start a conversation with a girl you barely know, she’ll interpret that as you flirting with her. #whatsup That’s not a big deal, but abandon ship if she doesn’t reply or just replies in a brief, unenthusiastic way.
3) Short, curt, lacklustre replies? Unless you know the person very well and know they are just bad at texting? It means: I don’t really want to talk to you, I’m just being polite.
4) When people don’t respond, don’t doubletext. Either they’ll get back to you later or they don’t want to talk.
5) Don’t send long, emotional texts. Especially to someone you don’t know very well.
6) Match the other person’s flow of conversation. They send short texts, days apart? Then that’s their pace, follow that pace. Too short/unenthusiastic, and consider if they actually want to text you.
7) Don’t post vague or emotional statuses. Or pictures that are emotional. Or with too much filters, everyone can see it’s a filter.
8) Younger people might use messenger, but they don’t use Facebook to post stuff.
9) Don’t bring up in conversation that you saw on IG that they visited Italy in 2016. It’s ok to use social media and notice new things people post. But don’t make it obvious you’ve scrolled through all their pictures. Everyone does with people they crush on, but that you don’t admit to.
10) If you follow random girls you met, but don’t know very well, they’ll interpret that as flirting. Which is fine, but just realize this is how it comes across.
11) People have busy lives. Don’t expect them to text you back this second. Or to be available to text all day.
12) It’s not a big deal to try to connect with someone and fail. If you want to make friends or get a partner, you need to be a bit brave and try. Just be aware of other people’s response, if they seem interested too or not.
Edit: as you see, there is a lot of overlap with mathblog’s comment. Read that as well, they have a point.
What about in discord do the same rules apply?