Last night my fiance and I started getting a little sexual and after I gave him a blowjob he pulled me up and said he wants to go down on me because he never has before. I always suck my boyfriend off and whenever we have sex I do it. But I always put off getting eaten out because I feel like it’s disgusting. My vagina bleeds sometimes and it’s just a gaping hole. It looks like an open wound when I’m on my period. Plus I just don’t think they’re all that comparable. Maybe I’m really insecure and I know I have a lot of self loathing issues but I just don’t think giving head to a girl is the same as giving head to a guy. I just think vaginas are more disgusting than penises to warrant women not getting eaten out. Also I think that as a woman my pleasure is less important than his. Anywhere you go is way more sexual for men than women. I just don’t think a woman’s pleasure matters that much as long as a man enjoys it. It’s probably just me being insecure. I love blowing my man but I very much told him when we started getting sexual that blowjobs were always okay but pussy eating was not. He said that was fine. Now all of a sudden he’s asking to eat me out and I don’t know why he wants to????? When he asked me last night I said no and he didn’t pressure me. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to break up with him because I adore him.
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Honestly there is a lot to unpack here but I’d recommend therapy for you.
Your pleasure absolutely matters, and if he is any good at it at all you will get a ton of it.
The self-hatred is strong. I agree with another poster – engage in therapy to learn some self love.
I love to go down on my gf, and actually enjoy it more than receiving head, and think that bj its something kinda weird because she’s just trusting something in her mouth. Everyone enjoys something more than others, it’s normal.
But if he wants to eat you out is because he wants to and he likes your vagina.
Talk to him, so he understands your point of view
>Also I think that as a woman my pleasure is less important than his. Anywhere you go is way more sexual for men than women. I just don’t think a woman’s pleasure matters that much as long as a man enjoys it.
This is so sad to read. Honey, you’re missing out. Your pleasure is as important as his! And I would argue that men find sex A LOT more pleasurable when their partner is enjoying it. So you’ll be doing yourselves both a favor if you let go of these outdated notions that women shouldn’t enjoy sex.
>It’s probably just me being insecure
Yes, absolutely. And it’s also you denying yourself the gift of pleasure. Please seek help.
Wow. Very sad for the way you feel about yourself. Our bodies are beautiful and natural, I hope you can get some help.
I’m just going to be honest. It sounds like you have some trauma or something that has taught you that your own pleasure doesn’t matter. You have been giving and he wants to give back.
I had a mindset like that after being raised by religious sex-shamers, that my pleasure wasn’t important. It’s not healthy. It took me a while but I got over it.
I guarantee that your bf is at least as attracted to your vagina as you are to his penis. He does not think it’s disgusting. He thinks it’s sexy and beautiful, and he wants his mouth on it. And, he wants to give you as much pleasure as you give him.
You’re actually denying him pleasure by not letting him go down on you. If you really don’t want him to, that’s your right. But you’re missing a whole wonderful dimension of your sexual relationship over your own insecurities.
I (65m) like BJs well enough, but I absolutely love going down on my wife (67f). I do it every time we have sex, but honestly it’s for *me*, not for her. Her scent and taste and textures turn me on immensely, after a few minutes my cock is hard as a rock without even touching it, and then I just have to fuck her.
I’m so sorry you feel this way about your body, which is beautiful.
I hope you take the suggestion from others and find a really good therapist.
You deserve pleasure, your body is beautiful, and I’m sorry you feel so badly about yourself. 💔
If you don’t go to therapy at least read, She comes first by Emily Nagoski.
Repeat after me. Your body is not disgusting. It’s normal for a man to want to go down on the person he loves. Love yourself.
I think that, before you get married, you need to speak with a therapist about the issues that you have with your body. Getting married without resolving this is going to affect your marriage.
If you’re self conscious about how your vagina looks, go over to r/normalnudes and you’ll see that they are all unique and individual.
I just think vaginas are more disgusting than penises to warrant women not getting eaten out. Also I think that as a woman my pleasure is less important than his.
As a man, I think that’s absolutely incorrect. I find vaginas beautiful and arousing and delicious. I also feel like sex is incomplete if I haven’t given her at least one orgasm. Your pleasure is absolutely as important as his, and you should advocate for it.
Please realize that your view of your vagina is entirely subjective, and he probably sees it as amazing. I bet you’ll have a great time if you take a few deep breaths, relax, and let him work some mouth magic on you.