I’m a 28M who has been dating this new girl (25F) for about a month. It’s been going pretty well, generally happy with things so far.
We started sleeping together about 2 weeks ago now (5 times thus far). I think the sex is pretty good. She’s just frustrated with how long it takes to me to finish. The quickest has been just over 30 mins, and the longest was just over an hour. One time I didn’t finish and just stopped because I was tired and it was also getting a little awkward.
I’ve always been someone who lasts longer than most men (from what I’ve heard/read) but I don’t think it’s anything crazy. I also get her off at least once but it’s usually within the first 10-15 minutes.
Anyway the problem is she’s quite frustrated and even a bit self-conscious, thinking I might not find her that attractive. I wouldn’t say I’m head over heels for her but like I said I’m generally happy with the relationship so far.
I honestly just don’t know what to say/do. The women I’ve been with in the past generally liked that I could last a while.
8 comments
To be honest, your gf is being upset over something that is actually very rare to find. She should be actually happy that you can last longer than most. If she thinks it’s an issue, she must be a little crazy.
First, if you use a death grip when you masturbate, stop. That can cause the unusual length of time it takes.
Second, the majority don’t want to be plowed for that long. Friction and general discomfort come into play. The whole experience taking that long or longer, absolutely.
Yeah that doesn’t sound very good to be honest, that sounds uncomfortable and require lube and gentleness the be enjoyable. You are very young and sound inexperienced
The best experience is coming at the same time. You have to think of it like this. She already cummed 10 minutes ago and is now waiting on you to come.. (which will be in about 30 minutes) in her mind her body isn’t good enough for your dick since it takes so long. So while you’re having sex that’s all she can think. So yeah I’d complain about that too especially if I had came already. You may have a promising career in porn though.
I saw one of your replies where you were thinking of suggesting anal so that you can finish sooner.
I get the idea you do not care much about her and you are very focused on your own pleasure.
Lasting too long can take the fun out of sex. It should be more than just cumming, you want to finish so that you can hold each other and feel closer with each other, it should be in a way more intimate.
I guess for her it becomes a chore and a lot less intimate and sensual.
Have you ever bothered to ask her why does she not like it?
Have you tried different positions and experimented with those positions to feel if it works better for you?
I know a position that works for me, if I try that specific position, I wont last long at all.
It is not natural to last that long, so you either doing the death grip or something else might be wrong, maybe go for a check up or she is not the right person for you, sexually.
Welcome to the real world men.. you come too quick, you are an asshole that is selfish, you take a while, you are still an asshole who takes too long. Can’t win with some people 😂😂
The overall time for sex including foreplay is fine to be 30 mins or more. However, the penis in vagina portion is best at the 15 to 20 min. mark (just my opinion). The problem I have is that if I came early on and my partner is still going it starts to chafe. I’m not producing as much lubrication naturally at that point and which adds to the whole uncomfortable chafing sensation. I recommend you bring lube if you’re going to be taking longer then 20 mins.
I don’t get why other people are down playing your ability to last longer. I personally seek out and date men who typically last 45+ mins. Sex isn’t a damn marathon, it’s the journey of experiencing each other.
What might be an issue is how you’re having sex for that long. If it’s 45 minutes of pound town, it can be pretty intense for the average person. Might want to mix up the techniques. Also, sex isn’t about the orgasm. Perhaps stop focusing on it so much.