So my gf (f21) and I (m26) been together in an Long distance relationship for 6 months but we are now together for at least the next month . she told me that her ex used her for sex and was only really nice when he wanted to have sex with her and he wanted it to much . Idk how to go about helloing her get over this mentally . Also she needs to know I’m not the same I can take or leave sex as long as I have at at least once every week or so . Now that we are together I want to have sex with her soon . We haven’t done anything sexual yet together . kissing is about the only thing we have done together physically.
I love her to bits and just want her to know I’m not like her ex
3 comments
That’s a very difficult situation… problem is that most people will say just have the convo with her . But I doubt it’s an easy convo to have .
However I do think that one day she will get into it and consider sex, maybe that’s the best time to show her that you not like the ex I don’t know hey …
Good luck
Even you really don’t care about sex, maybe just shower her with attention and not doing during this visit unless she initiates sex.
Even tell her, you’d like to but you’re not gonna initiate because you want her to when she ready and not to mistake the just hot kissing sessions as you not wanting sex.
The only way to believe you is if you do something different from the other guy. And only being there a short period and expecting sex is the OPPOSITE of what ex would do.
Is it fair- NO! But if you really like her, you got 3 choices: wait for her, give an ultimatum that if it goes your way it’s definitely gonna make her feel used and possibly resentful, break up because you’re not having sex.
We need more details, man. How are you together for the next month? Sleeping together? Same city but different sleeping arrangements?
If I’m with someone for the first time, I’ll go to their house… people are more comfortable in their own environment.
If I notice she’s uncomfortable with sex. I take sex of the plate. My first night at her house, I’ll make no sexual advances. I’ll sleep next to her and cuddle, no sex!
If I’m looking for a relationship with someone, sex is not the priority. The person is. Yes, I want sex and sexual incompatibility is a deal breaker for me, but it takes second place when it comes to establishing who I am and learning who she is!